So the other week I was out with Goldmund in NYC.
As some of you know, Goldmund is a writer, seducer, and photographer who has found a unique angle of combining his three passions into one powerful way of approaching women: a book called Camera Game.
(An aside… I haven’t tried it — I’m married and even if I wasn’t it’s not my style (I suck with pictures) but if you’re visually inclined this is a creative and extremely effective way to approach girls while standing out from the crowd.
If you’d like to check it out, go here and open a tab… but make sure you come back right after, cause that’s not what we were going to talk about in this email, ha)
Anyway, as I was saying… I was out with him because he’s leaving the Big Apple in August.
And we did a fun little routine he came up with.We went around a couple of bars telling girls we were dating and relationship writers, doing research on girls’ experiences in the city.
(Easy to play-act because it was actually true)
And had a couple of interesting interactions, noted below.
First, interaction of note was with some French girls outside smoking.
These girls were from around Versailles, and were in NYC doing some work with the French Consulate.
Both of them had boyfriends back in France.
When asked if they had been loyal, they responded seriously and unhesitatingly yes.
I’m good at reading people and could tell the girls weren’t lying… moreover their actions backed it up.
For instance I was talking to one of the girls quite intensively, and she was very engaged when I mentioned my previous work in French wines.
(She was dealing with French wine trade in America, specifically)
Point is we had a lot in common, and the energy engagement was solid.
She was definitely intrigued by me.
But unlike a single girl, or a girl with an eye for cheating, she was holding herself back from giving full investment (as was I, for what it’s worth — I’m not out to hook up with other girls). Case in point, she was talking excitedly when the we had to abruptly put the convo on hold since her friend’s cig was finished, and yet after a few minutes of talking to Goldmund there she made no attempt to reengage with me, and clustered closer to her other French friends.
Some guys reading this will think it was personal, but it wasn’t.
A committed girl in a relationship might be friendly with a guy who approaches her.
But she will extricate herself from the interaction when she has an opportunity, not because she’s not “enjoying it,” but because she doesn’t want to a) send the wrong signals or b) put herself in a situation where something could happen.
I admired it.
And appreciated it, because it was a great reminder of something often lost in the manosphere.
Not all girls given the opportunity to cheat will.
Because not all girls are cheating sluts.
You could tell this girl was there for work, to have fun in NYC for a few months, but had firm visions of returning to her long time boyfriend and starting a family with him.
Now, can I be certain?
Nope.
Maybe if I was a piece of shit single PUA I could have pressed the issue, tried to isolate her from her friends…
Maybe if no one was around to see it, things would have been different.
Maybe.
But I doubt it.
Because I doubt she would be out in the first place if that was the case.
Which is the final point of this email I want to send across.
When talking to girls, one of the variables you want to consider is WHY she is there.
Girls at bars, for instance, are out to have a good time.
If they are in a mixed group, they could be “taken,” just there to spend time with friends or co-workers… which is why you want to assess the group dynamics, and figure out how everybody knows each other.
But if she’s with just a few friends, maybe only one… or heaven forbid is BY HERSELF.
Well lads… there’s a pretty good chance its go time for at least a couple of girls in the group.
Because most girls who are in stable relationships are just not going to go to a loud bar filled with hungry dudes unless they are into tempting fate.
They might live vicariously through their girlfriends… but part of them probably does that because they want to experience it themselves.
Not saying you should pursue these women.
But, just more clues on how to read women.
And if you want the motherload? Insight catered to your individual situations? And all the techniques to learn how to make such assessments yourself?
Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
