The following is a little story of something that happened to a client the other day… a lesson he’s now learned, that I believe the rest of you will as well.
(Thanks for being my guinea pig bro)
Anyway, he had an experience with a girl at a party a couple weeks back.
They were talking, vibing, flirting.
Didn’t have any alone time, unfortunately.
However, as the night came to a close… she started getting pretty hot and heavy.
Grabbed his d*ck, told him all sorts of dirty things she wanted to do with him…
But then ran off and hopped into an uber, avoiding things actually progressing further.
Now.
My client had other things going on. Left town. A few other girls on his radar…
And I can say with leads like this, where the girl is drunk and says a lot of dirty stuff (only to split quickly after)… these usually aren’t strong leads.
(The girl is immature, a tease, not likely to meet up)
So when he mentioned reengaging with her nearly 2 weeks after the interaction, I didn’t think much was likely to occur.
The girl acted that way before only because she was in a situation where the feeling felt “appropriate.”
The further away from the situation, the less emotion remaining from it.
But I figured why not give it a shot?
So I told him to text her… and to be direct about their sexual vibe and his interest in seeing her again.
No beating around the bush.
(Much like the stuff I teach in Tackling Texting)
Just to shoot straight from the hip.
And so began the following exchange:
PHEW at that ending, right?
Now, my man began the interaction perfectly.
Being bold, taking her directly to the intense experience they shared together.
And it hooked.
The only problem?
He took her “time off” too personally and became impatient and aggressive — which was off calibration from the convo and subcommunicated some neediness.
Notice that she was game to reingage… even asking about stuff he was up to. It wasn’t a permanent blow off, she was being real about her situation. A text talking about “celebrating” afterwords, or stating what he wanted to do with her then would have done the trick.
In this context, he could even be challenging and direct:
(Ex: “End of the month is great. I look forward to seeing what you’re all about… you’ve got a dirty mouth, but you better not just be talk…”)
But water under the bridge.
Is the lead dead – that’s what matters.
And the answer is not necessarily.
As always it’s better to be too bold than not bold enough.
And sure enough, she did respond (after a long delay) “nah never frontin / no need”… not an affirmative answer, but an answer nonetheless.
But, I wouldn’t expect responses in most situations… and the odds remain low.
20% chance she reaches out to him… maybe odds of something happening go up to 35% if he reaches out again, bringing attention to their unfinished business.
We’ll see what happens in August.
(No reason to text in the meantime)
Why do I mention this?
Because my dears his story shows you the essence of how to do a hail-mary reinitiation with a girl you had sexual chemistry with:
– Channel and reference the vibe from the night you connected
– Be direct with your desire and intentions, BUT
– Show control over yourself, never be in a rush to seal the deal
Anyway, insights like these are just a taste of what you get working with me.
If you want the full meal, customized for your palate, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
