This is going to be an important email for many of you gents who are just getting into relationships.
And unfortunately, it’s going to be a bit of a buzzkill.
But, as a loving mentor my job is to give you what you need, not what you want.
And I want to talk a bit about something everyone thinks they know… but when they’re in it, doesn’t really.
I’m of course talking about the honeymoon phase.
Now, generally when people talk about the honeymoon phase, it’s about the sex… or this deep desire to be with each other all the time.
And all that’s true.
But not all honeymoon phases are equal; some are “stronger” than others.
Why you might ask? Is it a function of which love is more pure?
Yes… but not in the way you might think.
The truth is that there is an inverse correlation between the intensity of the honeymoon phase and the actual compatibility of the relationship.
Because the “can’t-get-enough-of-you” romance is based on persona / fantasy vs personality / reality.
Let me elaborate, cause I know this can get confusing.Persona is what we present to people we meet (game is a key part of persona).
But on a deeper level, Persona is a mirage.
It’s about “playing a role.”
Believe it or not, many people who think they are falling for someone are in fact not falling for the person, but the role they are playing.
(Seduction is more or less helping to give someone the pieces to create their own fantasy, with you at the center)
So in hard honeymoon phase romances, both parties are playacting a fantasy of a relationship they’ve imagined having, rather than actually engage in a REAL relationship.
Which is a pretty serious problem.
Because people tend to make big, impulsive decisions while they’re in this fantasy phase… and lack the ability to discern what’s real and what’s fake.
I talked about this in my cornerstone 5 Tiers of Women post in the section on Unhealthy Tier 1 relationships.
Unhealthy Tier 1 dynamics are based on persona-romances. And while these romances are common to insecure and immature people… they are especially appealing to idealists, who project their ideal love onto said figure.
I’ve worked with a lot of clients who have found themselves in these dynamics.
And I know them first hand having been in them in my younger years.
Which is why I will offer you two tidbits of advice:
– If you find yourself falling hard for a girl, remember you are probably just falling for a fantasy, and you need to get your mindset fixed (like by working with me)
– If girls you don’t like are falling hard for you, maybe tone down some of the flirting because you’re probably at the point where seducing is unconscious for you, and you’re breaking a lot of hearts
Guys, understand:While EVERYBODY who meets someone they fall for is going to see them through a bit of rose-colored glasses in the beginning…… without exception healthy relationships aren’t born from idealism at the outset.
You might overlook their flaws, but you see them. And you don’t find in any way that they’re going to just create your perfect future.In other words… you actually get to know THEM rather than what you imagine they might be.
Which is important.
Because no one — not even highly compatible matches — are perfect ideals.
And when you hold someone to this standard you will only experience disappointment.
Want to avoid it?
Here’s a short cut:
Work with me.
I’ll show you how to break these habits that lead to cycles of disappointment and heart break.
And will show you how to read women for who they really are.
And that’s not all:
I’ll show you how to commit 100% to a woman… or determine whether to leave her.
Real relationships aren’t based on illusions.
They’re based on honest assessments of each other… and loving each other in spite of flaws. And if those flaws aren’t reconcilable, moving on.
But it’s hard to know from the inside.
Which is why I do what I do: provide awareness and clarity for men making big decisions in their love life.
Apply to be one of them here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
