Believe it or not, Pat Stedman isn’t always correct about dating.
For instance, it occurred to me last week that something I had taken for granted as true was in fact a mixed bag.
What’s this something, you ask?
The idea that big cities are always a better place to meet people.
Now, to be fair to me… I haven’t really gone out proclaiming this.
I believe that you can meet women wherever you are, even if the pickings on the surface seem sparse.
(I’m having quite a bit of success with a client in the far north of Canada, a place not exactly known for its high population)
But, I admit to thinking that it was “easier” to meet women in a big city.
Which is in fact only kinda true.
And I realized it when a subscriber commented that the big city is more or less like online dating.
Great when you first arrive for meeting people.
But psychologically, no bueno over the years.
It was a great take that’s 100% true.
Like online dating, big cities bombard you with options.
And in cities like New York, attractive options.
Which means that it’s easy to get “grass-is-greener” syndrome and struggle to emotionally commit to people the longer you’re in the dating pool.
No wonder so many people in the big city are surrounded by people, yet lonely… while people in smaller towns tend to find significant others and settle down.
So what to do if you’re in the big city? Leave for a hamlet in the countryside?
Hey, let’s not be hasty.
The big city is still an excellent place to meet people. But you need to regulate yourself better.
Which means dating intentionally not impulsively.
First off, no online dating.
In smaller vicinities there’s an argument to be made, but in a big city there’s just no excuse. There are so many people everywhere… just literally go outside and start talking to people. Going for low effort take-out dates will only feed into burnout.
Second, build a community.
Making friends matters everywhere. But making friends in the big city takes your dating options in an exponential direction since there are so many things going on.
Meeting and connecting with someone means that you get invited to his friend’s party, which means you meet everyone your new friend’s friend knows.
It’s a ridiculous number of new connections at your finger tips.
But many of you should also consider Step 3.
Get a coach.
Because not only do you probably need some accountability and knowledge about how to do the above… there’s a very good chance you don’t even realize the social assets you already have, or how to leverage them.
Something I am very, very good at.
Which is a big deal for you.
Understand, my man… more people than ever feel bored and disconnected.
Becoming the person who solves this problem will make you one of the most cool and desired men most people know.
I know from experience.
Apply here to learn it from me: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
