So last week some of the usual suspects were tweeting about the collapse of some famous british guy’s marriage, James Cracknell.
A little backstory:
15 years ago, James won a gold medal at the olympics for rowing.
It wasn’t his first major athletic accomplishment. I won’t list them all here, you can read the article, but suffice he was a superstar.
Throughout most of this, he was happily married to a beautiful wife.
Now, at 45, he became the oldest man to ever win the Cambridge Boat Race — a famous and nationally acclaimed rowing competition.
But this time, unfortunately divorced.
You see in the interim James had gotten into a severe accident and entered into a coma.
(he had been hit by a gas tanker going at full speed down the highway while he was cycling)
And apparently suffered severe brain damage, resulting in some personality changes.
Some of this was sulking. As the article indicates, post-accident many marriages turn into parent-child dynamics… this characterized their relationship for awhile.
But much of it was also frontal lobe damage, which made the athlete “more like himself”… aka stubborn with a tunnel vision towards achievements.
The couple stayed together for 8 years after the injury, but Beverly (the wife) finally ended it last year.
Her complaints?
That he was never around, and that she felt like she wasn’t even in a relationship with him. He was so focused on his athletic endeavors they never spent time together or had fun, and would basically just fight.
Now, the “conventional wisdom” (at least in the manosphere) is that this marriage fell apart for a simple reason:
After James’ accident, he was weak, and his wife lost respect for him and thus attraction.
Yet another example of the insatiable hypergamy of women, no?
You can be one of the most athletically accomplished men on the planet… but your woman will still leave you if you have a setback.
Except this take is extremely dumb.I mean really, I wonder how stupid you have to be to believe it.
But before I elaborate… first, the concession:
James’ wife DID lose investment in the relationship when James was weak after the accident.
The damage to his brain, damaged his frame… at least for a time.
And she was affected by this chink in his armor.
But blaming this for the end of the marriage is like blaming traffic for killing a man riddled with bullets because the ambulance can’t get through.
This relationship sucked for Beverly, and had sucked for YEARS.
Yes, she had stayed in it because James was so accomplished and masculine. But it was the ONLY thing about it that kept her around.
James paid no attention to her. Didn’t care about her at all.
His mission was his life.
Which, fair enough.
But for a woman, this is hell.
It’s desire but no comfort.
Status in exchange for slavery.
James didn’t spend a single weekend with his wife in 5 years. The question isn’t why the relationship failed, it’s why it didn’t fail sooner.
Look lads — it’s true women don’t really want to be “#1” in your life.
They need you, sexually, to think beyond them… to be ambitious… and aggressive at reaching your goals…
(they need life force to feed on)
But emotionally they still need to feel like they are important to you.
That they are on that journey with you.
That you care about them.
Understand gents:
Ignoring a woman you are with is a form of emotional abuse.
Attention is currency for women, and it devastates their sense of self when their man refuses to provide it.
Women HATE men they commit to who subsequently ignore them.
Don’t go so red pill that you kill the comfort and the emotional bonds.
Women do not respond to this.
And I’m sure many of you are doing this… regardless of whether you’re some famous athlete.
You’re probably thinking about work, or some idea / project you’re developing.
And you’re probably spending all your time on it and ignoring your woman in the process.
Which might be a reason why, I dunno, your relationship sucks.
How do I know?
Because I’ve seen it time and time again… and worked with guys on this exact problem.
A man has no passion in his relationship. His wife is resentful.
So, he’s read some stuff online about “how to be more attractive” to women. Yet while maybe there has been some improvement… in many ways it’s made his relationship worse… because he’s completely missed the calibration.
Sound like you?
If so, apply to work with me.
Because if you keep fucking this up you will lose your woman, just like James lost his.
And you’ll lose her much sooner… since chances are you’re not an olympic athlete.
Don’t delay: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
