Today’s email is a bit depressing.
But, we confront truths around here whether pleasant or poor… and this one is one you must really internalize.
Most relationships suck.
I’d estimate only 20% actually have great relationships out there, with only another 20% having an average, satisfactory one.
Which is why the super-woke anti-marriage red pillers have such an audience for their views.
Guys who have been around the block KNOW that the above is true… because they’ve been in at least one relationship that ended due to being sub-par and shitty. And it was traumatic… because they put so much emotional investment in something that didn’t give a return.
So case closed right? Don’t get into a relationship. Become a pleighboy and spend your days sleighing tons of leighdies.
Well, I suppose you could draw those conclusions.
But while we’re at it let’s talk about a few other statistics concerning life.
Such as the fact that most people are poor.
That 90% of Americans make less that six figures… and we’re the richest country in the world.
(even the poorest quadrant here are in the top 5% globally)
So there’s a 90% chance that if you live in America, you’ll be poor — correct?
Well, probably true if you’re stupid enough to think that’s how statistics work.
The real facts:
People have advantages and differing ambitions which affect their chance of ending up in the top 10%.
Now, I don’t want to come across like some boomer.
Because I know inequality, etc. is a complicated topic.
But, if you’ve got an average IQ, you’re ambitious and determined, and you live in America… on a long enough timeline you WILL be making six figures.
At least.
It’s not even really a question for me at this point. I see people doing it all the time.
Truth is even entering the top 1% is pretty feasible.
The reason it’s not more common is because most people don’t have that kind of vision or self-belief.
We’ll return to this in a bit… but to focus on relationships…
When you look at the statistics of divorce and dissatisfaction… you have to remember that the average person doesn’t give a shit about understanding themselves or the opposite sex, and more or less walks through life like a zombie.
The bar is extraordinarily low.
So when you share some romantic horror story like “this happens to all men!” you might as well be sharing stories about homeless people having to beg and how it’s impossible for you to make money.
See where I’m going here?
Stop comparing your future to the future of people of average people.
You are on this email list because you care about getting better with women and having a better relationship with yourself.
Maybe 10% of people in this world actually do this in a humble, truly introspective way.
It’s more likely < than 5%.
Your fate is what you make it.
Study the success stories, don’t be scared off by the broken people who use the internet as a place to vent their failures.
It might require some setbacks… but you take this stuff seriously you WILL get one of those lovely, top 20% relationship easily.
The question is — are you really taking it seriously?
This list is admittedly a good first start.
But consuming good content isn’t the same as acting on it.
Not to mention… “the wisdom hit different” when it’s about YOU and YOUR life vs some generalized scenario…
(because there’s almost a 100% chance you’re missing layers that only an expert outsider can see)
It even shocks me sometimes. Because I understand psychology and female nature pretty damn well.
But my mentor still finds blindspots that I’m missing in certain scenarios… and even though they might sometimes seem small… they open doors to much greater understanding…
And it’s the same with some of my clients who are already perceptive, introspective men doing quite well with women… but are missing that one piece or two that get’s them to the next level…
Which is why investing in yourself is the ultimate test of how much you care.
It’s like trying to be an elite athlete without a coach.
It won’t happen.
You need someone to push you and challenge your assumptions.
So.
If you’re ready to take things to the next level with women…
Stop stalling.
And apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
