Like all guys serious about improving with women, I’m well steeped in game. I spent years cold approaching with the PUAs… learning all the “biological triggers” of female attraction.
And I learned that if you internalized and applied these things, having sex and getting beautiful women to spend time with you was as inevitable as snow in New England.
You could run the same scripts predictably, adapting subtly to each woman. And win her over.
But there was a problem.
The game that got you a girl, while valuable throughout the lifespan of a relationship, only kept some of the fire alive.
The truth was that game played mostly on mystery and a sense of not knowing the other person. Once familiarity crept in… you could be attractive, masculine… but you lost the excitement that existed at the beginning.
Many other men have noticed such things as well. Which is why they would advocate for “spinning plates” (dating multiple women) and not committing to any one girl. “Dread game” was a means of making a woman afraid of losing you, and stimulating her imagination again so some of that original fire remained.
But as we all know viscerally, this isn’t a stable way to organize society. And moreover, while many of the caricatures of “dead bedroom” marriages exist… there are others that were healthy, passionate and yet didn’t include polyamory or “open” dynamics.
What existed in these relationships is something I call “psychological attraction.”
People talk about this often in the sense that certain personalities are drawn to each other. Some attempt to categorize this via “types” — others just talk about it as chemistry.
We’ll put that aside for now.
What matters is that psychological attraction is something you can do with a girl you’re seeing that will burn an imprint in her heart permanently.
After my first girlfriend, and I started understanding how people worked, I began inadvertently doing this. I mingled it with the “classic” game… to devastating affect.Indeed, every girl I used this game on would try to get back together when I broke things off… and would continue to contact me within 2 years of me being with them. In fact, they only stopped after I got married (not while I was engaged though, lol).
Unfortunately friends… most of this material is not “for free” on the list. It’s stuff I don’t see talked about elsewhere and I save it for my clients.
But I’ll give you a hint of how it works.
Within every girl is someone who has been hurt and afraid. Who has weaknesses and things holding her back from who she can be.
The trick to psychological game is uncovering these areas and pushing a woman to grow through them… while providing her with acceptance and support at the same time.
Now, sounds simple right?
Not so much.
First you have to get the read right. And women keep many things from men…
But actually navigating this area is difficult. Because it’s not “fun” and there are a lot of triggers in this area. You need to understand exactly how to broach subjects in a way that makes her WANT to change.
(hint: telling her what’s “wrong with her” has the opposite effect)
When applied correctly however… you can make a girl fall extremely hard for you… so hard that you’ll separate yourself permanently from other men in her eyes.
It’s a psychological form of “alpha widowing” a woman. Because maybe 5% of guys do it at all. But a caveat.
While this game is effective on a girl, it leaves you vulnerable to guys using “classic game” which operates on a biological level.
Like in the book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, the two approaches should be looked at as darkness and light.
Psychological game is heavy. If it’s the only tool in your tool kit… you’ll bond a woman to you long-term. But you might push her away in the short term.
Classic game is light. If this all you can do (like most play-ahs) you’ll keep her in the short-term but you’ll both find things stale over time.
The key thing is to use these two types of game in tandem.
Psychological game breaks open new doors to your woman. Then classic game allows passion to re-emerge from the new dynamic.
Psychological game is indeed the foundation to a relationship that improves in not only comfort, but desire over time.
Which is why it’s a tragedy guys don’t know how to do it.
It’s an essential skill if you ever want a meaningful relationship.
And it’s arguably necessary if you want a life-long one.
But don’t worry if you’re just looking for sex right now.
It’s an advanced skill, that only guys who want real intimacy need to learn.
Guys who want a woman who has eyes for no one else the next couple of decades… not just the next couple of weeks.
So if that’s not on your agenda at some point, no worries.
But for the rest of you…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
