Yesterday on Twitter I made some comments about a little strategy for guys who are “average” looking (or below) to get more girls when they go out.
Well to sum up:
“these guys should go out with attractive friends who aren’t particularly good with women. Girls will be much more open to your advances when you’re with someone attractive, (they “break the doors open” so to speak) but if your game is better than his, you should both clean up pretty nicely by end.”
As @NielsKnk added: both of you compliment each other very well. He borrows from your Persona, you borrow from his Preselection. And you’re not tramping on each other’s assets, so you’re in more of a collaborative dynamic than competitive one (which is a major problems with “wings,” who tend to step on each other).
But that’s for getting laid. What happens to these guileless “pretty boys” when it comes to relationships?
Well, generally speaking… nothing much better than your average dude who doesn’t know much about women.
Understand: looks matter a lot for women. But looks are part of Preselection. They’re marketing.
(Read: The Three Pillars of Attraction)
Women will assume a guy is hot in other ways because he is physically attractive… but this fantasy fades if it turns out not to be the case. And while she will always appreciate how he looks… on a deep level, she’ll start to become dissatisfied with the relationship.
(And let’s face it gents: we’re the same. You’re lying to yourself if you think a pretty girl is all you want. If she’s not feminine, the sex is meh, she’s not interesting… you’re going to get bored of her even if she looks like Jessica Alba)
So, these good looking dudes tend to get laid pretty quickly… because the girls want a piece.
But pretty soon into dating, most of these girls realize this man doesn’t have an edge and they start to lose interest.
In fact, I have worked with some clients whose very problem was that women sleep with them and then ghost.
Might seem like a “high quality” problem (and indeed it could be worse)…But for guys who are looking to establish something intimate with a woman, it sucks. These guys get heartbroken or feel perpetually lonely, or even worse…
They get pulled into orbit by a woman who isn’t a good fit for them, but who is cute and wants a boyfriend.
So she gets an attractive guy, almost always above her tier…
But the guy is a still “beta” in the relationship.
And they suffer the usual problems.
Decline in sex.
Incline in nagging.
Until finally she either makes a big push for marriage cause it’s baby time… or she dumps him for someone else.
And he doesn’t know wtf happened.
The lesson, dear readers, is this:
You want to build up your looks, because looks make it easier to get leads. And leads make it easier to learn… and eventually find a woman who is great for you.
But leads do not get you the women of your dreams.
In fact… they can make it even harder, because they lull you into a false sense of security… and don’t incentivize you to work on your Personality and Persona.
Understand, looks, sex, fame, money… everything in Preselection might get you sex, depending on how much lifting she’s willing to do.But alas they will not get you a good love life.
To do that you’ve got to get your awareness sorted out.
You’ve got to:
– have confidence in yourself
– be aware of social dynamics
– understand how women operate
– navigate the see-saw of comfort/desire
And if you don’t have these things?
Well friendo doesn’t matter if you’re a model.
You’ll feel dead on the inside.
Because as happens so often with beautiful people…
To the extent you get anything, you’re not in control, you’re being used.
If you want control you need wisdom, knowledge, and self-awareness.
And the only way to get this is time and experience.
Unless, of course, you’re willing to work with someone.
Someone who can teach you these things in a fraction of time… someone who can help you understand how you’re screwing yourself over on a daily basis.
What’s that? You don’t need any help? You can figure it out yourself?
I’m sure you can big guy.
Just like I’m sure you could find your way to the right address across the country without a map or internet connection.
If you’re determined enough, you’ll figure out how to get there.
Just, you know, it seems a wee bit stupid to me to waste years, stressed out and frustrated, trying to finding the love of your life when it could take you mere months…
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that most people are penny wise and pound foolish.
Won’t invest in themselves. Don’t take the currency that matters the most — time — seriously.
And you know what?
That’s OK.
Because 99% of these people eventually realize they f*cked up by f*cking around, got afraid and hid in their own head… when they should have taken action.
And lost years of their life because of it.
Sadly, while some do turn around at this moment… (better late than never).
Most simply give up.
Because most people are so afraid of change, they won’t even allow changes that would make them happy…. changes that would transform their life for the better.
Ah well. So it goes.
There’s a reason most people’s relationships are average at best… if they even have one to begin with. You’ll be in good company, don’t worry.
But you decide to stop being average, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
Just be forewarned, it’s not cheap. A new life never is.
– Pat
