So we got into some interesting conversation yesterday on Le Tweetér about a woman’s sexual history and her “quality.”
First off, let’s get some clarification.
I’m no rube and I’ve seen the data on n-count and how it affects the survivability of a relationship.
“Virgin relationships” have the highest likelihood of working out… followed by girls who have been one other guy, followed by two others… and so forth.
(If I recall correctly, it flatlines between 4-10, dropping again or something like that)
So, I’m obviously not going to disregard any of this information.
I have no reason to think it’s “fake news.”
But, I do think it paints an incomplete picture… one that we need to dig a bit more into.
Now, to return to the tweet the crystalized the argument:
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I agree with the sentiment. But it always comes down to details.
Who is more likely to leave you: a girl who’s been with 4 guys, each for 3 years… or a girl whose been with 20 guys, and you’re her first serious man? We laud the former but she’s actually a bigger flight risk.
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This isn’t something you hear most people talk about, but it’s true.
Every time you fall in love it’s harder to fall back in it again.
Broken relationships break people. We can only take so many — it’s why a lot of older people drop out of the dating market all together. They just “can’t be bothered” to love again.
Moreover: a woman who has jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend post honey-moon is likely a girl who has a hard time dealing with problems in a relationship, and looking for the next great romance (even if each time, she feels less than before).
Further… from a sexual and emotional imprinting standpoint, the girl that’s been serious with a couple of different guys has had a lot more intimate sex with someone who isn’t you. She has memories and comparisons that FUCK UP her ability to do the same with you.
Indeed, this is the nature of being “Alpha Widowed” for a woman. She’s had sex, multiple times, with a guy who fucked her brain and body inside out.
Contrast this with a girl who’s had a few one night stands over a decade of being single.
No, it doesn’t show traditional values. Maybe it spoils the girl for *us*, since the thought of sharing a girl with this many others is dirty.
But that’s a separate question from whether or not she’s going to be dedicated to her first real boyfriend and love. There is a context to her decisions, and that’s where the real info about her lies.
Look, I’m not trying to encourage any of you to “rescue” these girls. I didn’t… and I’d be a hypocrite to suggest otherwise.
You as a man maintain the prerogative to choose the girl you want… and as we know (and women should know) a girl’s sexual history always affects our perception of her.
(generally negatively… but there is an exception we’ll talk about tomorrow)
All I’m saying is don’t be some manosphere retard who has no ability to understand women beyond some data point.
Obsessing upon a woman’s “number” belies a massive amount of insecurity and is just another “beta tell” that you don’t think you can give a woman an experience that will wipe other men out of the picture.
Discernment requires you to look at the “why” behind a person’s decisions.
Because a girl could be a slut because she’s fucked up with lots of trauma… and she could be a virgin for the same reasons.
Different personalities handle issues differently.
And if you want to learn to read people like this…
You need to be very, very patient… take your time over many years to date, observe, be exposed to fucked up things…
Or you can get mentored from someone who’s already done it.
Someone who can over a phone call distill years of wisdom and insights, and give you the tools and show you the “tells”… so you can extrapolate in the future.
Anyway, wisdom isn’t cheap. Cause it’s tough to put a price on experience and time.
So don’t apply unless you’re really ready to invest in yourself, like the rich and successful do.
For the rest: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
