I remember as a teenager, meandering through the Cherry Hill Mall (shout out to South Jersey!), always feeling strange when walking by Victoria’s Secret. The place has a “forbidden” element to it. It was for women. Given the models and lingerie everywhere, you were a “pervert” if — as a man — you went in […]
Daddy’s Little Girl Read More »
As many of you know, after an embarassing hiatus, I’ve returned to the gym — under the tutelage of the great Mike Vacanti (Mike’s the one who got Gary Vaynerchuck into shape) Things have been going pretty well. Can’t tell if he’s buttering me up or not but my progress has been allegedly pretty great.
How Smart Guys Make Dating More Difficult Read More »
Friday night I put out in passing on Twitter: “Joke with your kids if you want them to develop their instincts.” The thought crossed my mind as I had finally found a parking space in a cozy little alley, deep in old italian South Philly. This neighborhood is “gentrifying,” but still has a lot of the
Caught up with an old pal the other week and I was interested to hear a little update in his romantic life. So my friend has been close to this girl for years. She’s a sweet girl, and attractive. Early on he liked her. But though they flirted a bit, in the end she’d always
The 2 Types of Friendzones Read More »
A brief recap before we dive into the final element. So far we’ve talked about Curiosity and Standards. Curiosity is what you lead with — it’s an open “perception,” that allows you to learn and have fun with the person. Standards are what tempers the Curiosity. It’s a closed “judgment.” It sets the frame of
The #3 Element of Effective Dating Read More »
Yesterday we talked about curiosity and its importance in avoiding transactional dating. But a lot of guys with good game know to approach women with curiosity. And it doesn’t necessarily ensure an interaction isn’t going to go a superficial route, where the girl is flaking and behaving poorly. Which is why element numero dos is
The #2 Element of Effective Dating Read More »
The first problem I see with clients which leads them down the path of transactional dating is simple, but frequently overlooked. And it starts with the most common question I get asked. “What do I say to her?” I’ll just be blunt: this is the WRONG question to ask. I know a lot of guys
The #1 Element of Effective Dating Read More »
One of my clients today listening to my talk at the Men of Character Conference, and was asking me about some inferences I made about “intuitively” approaching women. This guy noticed something insightful. Something I didn’t even fully realize I was doing. (It’s reasons like this that I love coaching, by the way. My clients
Intuitive Approaching Read More »
It happened to me almost incidentally. But one day I woke up and just had it. Of course, this wasn’t really an out-of-the-blue thing. It was a shift over a long progression of years. A changing of beliefs. A rewiring. I am of course talking about Frame. (Read: What Is Frame?) There were a couple
The Origins of Rock Solid Frame Read More »
A big problem with black-white thinking on relationships is there is an assumption that all “beta” styled relationships are the same… and that the same approach will work for each of them. There are two types I see commonly. The first is the “best friends” dynamic. This is a relationship characterized but trust and comfort.
The 2 Types of “Dead Bedroom” Relationships Read More »
