It’s the day after Christmas, and after a long couple of days with my family… my wife and I are about to hop on a flight to visit hers.
Christmas is a serious event in both our families. We always spend the week before with mine, the week after with hers, and trade the day itself every other year.
This year, we’ll be abroad for almost a month, as I want my wife to spend as much time as possible with her relatives. Mine are much closer… I try not to take it for granted, but it’s a gift I increasingly realize is rare. When my parents die — and who know how soon it could be? — I’ll have a raft of memories and traditions to pass down.
You see, we’re a ritualized family.
Every night there is white or sparkling wine that gets popped at 5PM.
If there are three or more “family sets” of the brood (aka couple + kids if applicable), we throw into that hors d’ouvres (cheese, meats, crackers, olives etc).
Within 1-2 hours we have a home-cooked dinner, replete with more wine (now red). The kids are usually playing with toys in the family room, mom is in the kitchen, and just before the dinner bell is rung, there is an exchange between my dad and I, discussing which bottles should be served with the meal.
We sit down at the table, and say — sometimes sing — the blessing. And then dinner is served… a long event and filled with stories and laughter. Followed, of course, by dessert.
In my family there are 1-2 of these “big events” per month (Christmas obviously being one). And generally 3-4 additional smaller ones as well (just to “get together”).
So perhaps you can understand: it’s from this position that I spew fury and wrath on pleighboys who think the meaning of life is trying to score one-off poon from some barely legal girl.
I gotta be honest lads.
I just don’t get it.
Dating is fun, and I’d be lying if I said “pick up” didn’t positively define me.
It got me out of my comfort zone. Got me to take a big look at myself.Got me understanding the “fairer” sex.
But perhaps I can thank this family grounding for never losing sight of the big picture.
While part of meeting new women was intrigue and novelty (the sex / intimacy didn’t hurt either), my goal was never notches but meeting women I had a deeper connection with.
Which is why I was “pure single” at times, so to speak, but also had “harems” and girlfriends.
It was a journey I was determined to enjoy.
But the end-goal was to find someone who I could take home and bring into my family rituals… and create new ones with.
And it’s what I aim to do with you.
I like giving guys control in their dating lives. But not control in the sense of control over women.
Control over YOURSELF.
Because that’s where the magic starts to happen.
Once you do this, and demystify the nature of women, the world is your oyster.
You can meet beautiful women you vibe with everywhere.
And when you meet the women you really connect with, you can make them your girlfriend.
Because here’s the truth my friends…
If you’re not running away from something, and you meet one of those girls…
You don’t let them go.
Cause they’re what give you meaning.
So ignore the lost boys and larpers.
While some are simply in a season, and have valuable insights to share (the day game crew tends towards this)… many are only commenting on their “journey” to others are there to pull you into their own pain.
And it’s all the more clear at Christmas. The time where you either celebrate meaning… or feel the pain of the lack of it.
If you want things to be different next Christmas, go here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
