I got a question from a subscriber recently about an interesting situation.
Basically, this guy is being courted by a married woman.
She claims her marriage is good, and that she loves her husband.
The only problem… she’s not satisfied sexually.
And she wants this guy to “take care of her needs”, in order to help preserve the marriage.
Said guy wanted to ask me what he should do.
Now, as a general rule I don’t give “advice.”
Advice is a bad way to teach people things, as it outsources their decision-making. This limits their own self-reliance long-term… and I’ve found most people — if they follow it — do so inelegantly… putting you in a situation where you’re at fault.
So instead, I try to get guys to think through their own predicament… so they can come to the conclusion on their own.
But in this case I was pretty blunt.
Because when a guy says he’s attracted to a woman, but sleeping with her means breaking your moral code and getting yourself involved in a complicated situation… and you’re asking me “what should you do”…
You’re not really asking me for my opinion.
You’re asking for my permission.
And, I ain’t in the “moral arbiter” business.
People can do what they want.
But, it’s important they make those decisions with open eyes.In this case the woman is doing a classic type of rationalization / manipulation.
“You’re doing a GOOD thing helping me cheat, because you’re helping me to save my marriage”
Uhhh nope.
Now, if the husband is in on this situation — weird… but fair enough.
But lying and carrying on an affair, and claiming this makes you a good person, is just bullshit.
And it’s bullshit this guy would get himself involved in.
That I imagine, at some point, will blow up.
So I don’t recommend it.
But I’ll note the guy does have a point though.
The woman is being sexually unsatisfied, and that’s a crime.
And I imagine a large part of that has to do with the husband’s mindset.
He doesn’t know how to create desire in a woman.
People talk a lot about technique with sex, or “size”, and for sure these things matter.
But nowhere close to the attitude you approach a woman with in bed.
How turned on you make her in general.
It’s mostly a mental, not physical, battle.
One I help guys tame.
So they have their woman all over them not only in the world… but in the bedroom.
Apply for my services here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
