One of the big grievances of RP guys is that women won’t love you unconditionally.

It’s a true statement, though not a particularly interesting one. (Nobody except God loves unconditionally. Even a devoted mother has her limits on affection.)

And the emphasis on it can stray into dangerous territory.

For instance, while it’s good to know you can’t just “expect” a woman to love you… once a guy internalizes that a woman will only love him under certain conditions, it can make said guy feel that the love of said woman isn’t real at all.

If she does fall for him, it’s just her biology “tricking” her.

And thus if another man with better status etc. enters the picture, it will quickly fade.

It’s a recipe for bitterness and transactionality in your relationships with women.

It makes you paranoid, and less appreciative of the things a woman does that ARE nice and sweet.

Which is why I’m going to talk today about something I think Red Pill guys don’t exactly get, and which makes me suspect most don’t have really deep loving relationships with women.

There are different levels to relationships.

I speak this as someone who has experienced a number of these levels, mostly the lower ones, and only recently some of the higher — or should I say — deeper intensity dynamics.

And most of these levels are contingent on the amount of fear in said relationship.

Indeed — I’d go so far as to say most relationships today suck because everybody has a deep sense of insecurity and fear that permeates their interaction with everybody.

The family unit has been bludgeoned by years of social programming. And so when faced with the imposing dating market, “unplugged” men realize they “have to” treat women like ruthless businessmen they’re negotiating with.

Don’t enter into contracts that can harm you, and keep a healthy dose of suspicion and distance from any woman, lest you fall in love.

It’s more a sign of how bad things have gotten than a cure, that people think this is a good way to go about life.

If you want great friendships and great romances you need to learn to open yourself completely to loving other people.

I don’t say this like a retarded hippie.

You need to learn to read and discern people if they are good at heart or not.

If they are strong, or weak.

And choose only these former of these people to associate with.

Note: this doesn’t mean that the macro forces of the dating market won’t weaken a woman’s attraction for you if you become a fat fuck who takes her for granted and does nothing.

All it means that she’s someone you can trust and depend on. That she is not going to be tempted by low-hanging fruit and short-term thinking escapades.

Someone who has self-control and perspective.

And then, once you’ve discerned this, commit fully.

Not 50%. Or 90%. Or 99%.

100%.

You love her with everything she has. And you don’t look for greener pastures the second trouble comes up.

You do this because it makes the relationship not only better, but easier.

And through this you form a bond that can weather great storms.

I’m going to say one last thing before I sign out on this. Cause it’s fucking crucial some of you hurt guys who are on this list by chance or curiosity get it.

Stop giving women so much power to hurt you.

I can love fully in my marriage for two reasons.

I trust my wife. Without question.

And I trust myself.

I trust myself enough that if, by some weird chance, I’m wrong, and she does screw me over, or whatever…

That I would not let that ruin my life.

It just wouldn’t have power over me.

If my wife cheated on me, I would honestly feel bad for HER.

What a fucking dumb thing to do. Look at what she would lose? It would set her life back far worse than mine.

I’m not afraid of such an event because I’ve done my due diligence, but more importantly it has no power to destroy me.

So the guys you hear talking about these “cheating bitches” constantly?

They’re WEAK.

A woman literally broke them, and they still can’t pick up the pieces.

They can’t forgive… and worse yet… they’ve projected that resentment onto the whole female sex.

Which is a shame.

Because it’s only forgiveness that makes you whole.

I feel bad for them to an extent, but the truth is if you choose fear and hate over self-fortitude… then you’re a negative person I not only don’t want to be around… but that I can’t trust.

Weak and selfish people are dangerous, because they’ll betray you in a second.

Don’t be fooled that they only think this way about women.

Fear leads to scarcity which leads to controlling behavior… which leads to…

At any rate, enough for today. I’ll talk more on this different level of relationships soon.

But one little secret.

To really have great things happen consistently with women, you need to have an abundance mindset with them.

A lot of guys try to manufacture this feeling by sleeping with lots of women. And this is fine… but many are less strong than they think, and they learn this when they go through a dry spell.

Their self-esteem PLUMMETS.

Because they’re still dependent on the validation of women.

(And if you hate women, boy are you in this camp as well)

Anyway, this “frame setting” is a key cornerstone of what I do with my clients.

And it starts with a little something called a deep dive call.

It’s 3 hours, and it’s basically a complete rewiring of your beliefs about yourself and women.

It’s a “reorienting of the ship” so you’re set on the right course.

(And no, it’s not “advice,” in fact it’s often so intense you need to be in a quiet place… the emotions can start to flow…)

So, not for everyone.

But if you want to move past trauma and unravel dissonance, there’s nothing on the market like it.

Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat