Yesterday we talked about the “mommy girlfriend” — an insidious problem for the smothered, modern man.
Today we’re going to talk about his corollary — the “daddy issues” girl.
Now, the problem with a single mother or weak father in the household with a boy is that the boy will grow up coddled and dissociated from his masculinity.
The woman will provide too much for the boy, arresting his development into a man.
And very often she will also bond emotionally with her son over another man, pulling him into a dynamic where he struggles to connect with other women.
(These men go two different directions — they become the classic “mom make me tendies” loser — or seducers, who sleep with multiple other women while remaining bonded fundamentally to his mother)
With girls however, the problem is similar — though the impacts different.
You see, women don’t need their father to teach them to become men.
But they do need their father to protect them from men during their young, naive stage — and to help them develop a healthy relationship with masculinity.
It’s so true at this point to be more of a tragedy than anything, but women who lack male figures in their development tend to cluster around certain behaviors in adolescence and beyond:
Promiscuity and attention-seeking behavior. The former is derivative of the latter, but these behaviors come about because women without masculine fathers will seek out proxies, and generally use their sex appeal to get it.
Man-hating and suppressed femininity. Women without a father in their lives, rather than seek out a proxy, may become their own “father” — this is the bitter, “independent” woman who is neurotic and often also promiscuous, but doesn’t know how to relate to men. Such women tend to even treat sex like men, attempting to be transactional since close relationships with men are impossible.
Whichever path a woman takes with this (sometimes she crosses from A into B), these women have a very hard time deeply connecting with men, just as said “single mommy” men have a hard time deeply connecting with women.
You can tell these women immediately if you are paying attention. They’re a major reason the PUA crowd etc. doesn’t like American women.
Now, what about women who have a close relationship with a strong father?
They are rarely promiscuous. This is not to say they’re going to be a virgin bride or anything like that, but they’re more likely to aim for commitment from strong men who are good picks. If one such relationship collapses they will pick similar guys.
These women have self-esteem, though they can often be quite independent depending on their dynamic with their mother and father (and the dynamic between their mother and father).
For instance, a girl who has a close relationship with her father but not a strong one with her mother could grow up to love men but be extremely tough and independent. These are women who are raised more like sons, and act accordingly.
These women are good, loyal women but you will have to be a very strong man to keep the polarity there.
Contrast this with other girls who have a close relationship with a feminine mother as well as a masculine father — they will have love and respect for men, as well as self-esteem, but will lack the “ball buster” quality the “tom girls” discussed above have
In either case, however, the role of the father is to establish a woman’s self-confidence and dynamic with other men.
So bad or no father, she’ll have a bad relationship to herself and bad dynamic with men.
In other words: be cautious around women who didn’t have a father in their lives, because they almost certainly have trauma from it. Some manage it better than others but screen carefully.
And if you want help screening?
You should work with me.
There are many reasons I could state for this.
But this one really stands out in importance.
Most guys want to have a great relationship with a beautiful girl, but realize many girls in the west are damaged by the cultural rot.
So what do they do?
Give up on finding good girls and become a part of the problem… complaining all the way.
I don’t think any of that is necessary.
Discernment is like wearing special glasses.
You can immediately see which people are “bad” and which ones are worth consideration… eventually working up a level of trust where you can tell which of these latter are actually good.
Point being: you won’t date low quality women with my guidance.
And if one slips past the gates you’ll be able to root her out quickly and improve your “security” for the future.
It’s a skill other people probably have.
But it’s rare… and I don’t see people advertising it.
(Just a lot of doom and gloom — a tell for helplessness)
Anyway link is here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS Tomorrow we’ll be talking about some halloween movie insights I had yesterday… insights that will vastly increase your understanding of women and (dare I say) yourself….
