As some of you perhaps saw from my buzzed tweets this weekend, I was at a NY gala.
(We’re big fans of “classing it up” and since I don’t anticipate being in NY much longer, best to enjoy the scene.)
Anyway, we’re not the only ones who enjoy it.
It’s also a big favorite locale of 30+ year old single women who are looking for a “gala-worthy” guy to lock down.
Now, I expect these things in NYC. The dating market is heavily skewed towards men, especially as they get into their 30s.
(I saw somewhere there were 2-1 girls per guy in the city under 40, without even calibrating for gay men)
But even so — I couldn’t believe it when I got there.
You were looking at a 3 girls to every guy.
And most of the women were attractive too, albeit older — dressing like they wanted to show off.
Anyway, I’m no ugly guy.
I’m 6ft, and while the Pat Swoleman project is only at month 2, I’m “recomping” quickly and certainly not showing badly.
But I literally didn’t do anything to get these womens’ attention.
I was sitting jauntily at a table while my wife was off getting drinks with her friends, sipping a prosecco and people watching.
And yet… women were coming up to me, trying to start conversations, and even bring me shots of Tequila… insinuating I should lick the salt off of them.
(something my wife had some very “mixed feelings” about)
Why do I bring this flattering story up?
Not to brag.
But to point out two useful things which are very much interlinked.
People, including yours truly, frequently talk about the “macro” in dating.
This is more or less preselection.
Before you start focusing on girls: get your financial situation sorted, get your grooming sorted, get your physique sorted.
But after you cross that threshold, there’s another area of preselection guys need to look at.
That is… if they want dating to be easy.
I am talking about demographics.
If you want to get women, go where the available women are.
(especially the women you intuitively click with, as we’ve discussed before)
Stack the odds in your favor.
Now, I’m not suggesting you need to go to the above.
Perhaps older women are not your thing — and fair enough.
But I use the above to illustrate how hooking up there would be like shooting fish in the barrel for me — even though in the “real world” I would have to go through an approach and potentially get a bit more resistance.
Instead, the environment worked 100% in my favor.
And guess what?
This works even when you’re not single.
Because all that desire becomes dread for your woman — and the best kind of dread: natural, authentic, unforced — when you put yourself in such scenarios.
(Not the fake, fabricated kind like “stop picking up your phone twice a week”)
And guess what that does for the rest of the week…
Anyway all this “lifestyle design” is stuff I focus on with my clients.
After all — I went from being practically friendless (I had three nerdy friends and I was the least “in” person in the group) to being able to throw a party on a whim and have 50 people show up.
I understand both macro and micro in dating and will show you how to tackle them both, based on your own goals and current situation.
Sign up to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
