“Hi Pat. I hope you’re well.  I was just reading the Mary Magdalen section in “The Way Forward” that reminded me of a question I asked Mr. Tomassi. I’d very much enjoy your answer to the same question.

“Hi Rollo. I’ve been meaning to ask you about something that’s bothered me a bit about some of your conclusions. Red pill, for me, seems to be filled with men seeking self-improvement. It seems to me that many men are hitting walls are various stages of their lives, waking up, and working hard to improve themselves and their lives.

What are your thoughts on whether or not women do this too? 

Take a woman in her 30s who has several tattoos and who slept with a bunch of men in her early 20s, had a kid, then claims to have decided she had been brainwashed by feminism and is working to change her life. Is she fundamentally different from a blue pill guy who starts reading your books, lifting, and becoming more masculine? 

More succinctly, do you think there is a fundamental difference in men’s interest/capacity/ability for positive change and self-improvement and women’s?”


I don’t know how Rollo answered this and don’t really care, but I expect we probably have more overlap on this issue than normal (don’t wet your pants).

First thing I’ll say is that I do believe anyone is capable of change. Psychologically, people — not just men — grow. Experiences shape us as well as age.

But — and here is the black pill — not only is this rare with everyone, it is incredibly rare with women. Especially the more attractive a woman is.

The reason on the surface is simple. Attractive people get away with more being undeveloped.

But it’s beyond this. Trust me, I did NOT want to believe it. But observation has shown me far fewer women than men are capable of objective introspection and dealing with harsh self-truths. The female ego seems to rationalize and justify itself endlessly. I just don’t know how else to put it.

That said, women DO change and evolve. But the motivation generally comes from one thing: the desire to be attractive to high status men.Now, sex makes the world go ‘round for both sexes. Most men improve to be attractive to women, no doubt. Thus I am open to some push back on these matters.

But fundamental changes in women — the “180s” that the reader describes — almost always (there are exceptions) come about from a realization that they have fucked up their life and chances to get a man. Or that they anticipate an opportunity to “corner a market” of men by shifting their approach and values.

I want you guys to listen very carefully because what I’m about to tell you is not only information that will protect you, personally, but will help you understand society at large — and most importantly — how you can help fix it.

Women will do anything to gain the approval of the highest level men.

Which is why wherever men who are good at stuff, who are attractive, and who are charming go… women follow.

Gaming, for instance, was once a fringe area of nerds. And of course there are still plenty there.

But now there are tons of women who are coming into the space. Some legitimately competing, but many if not most just there for validation. Half of the gamer girls I see look like they are in porn.

They basically see a niche of guys who are good at stuff and enter it to be close to them. This desire informs their interests, values, and what they care about.

If you pay attention you will notice the same thing here.

There are a lot of women in the “manosphere” space because, well, there are a lot of men who are smart, aggressive, and attractive here. (Future leaders, dare I say.)

These men say they want feminine, traditional women.

And so these women “discover” the place and start acting and supporting exactly what these men say.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I’m not hating on this. It’s similar to the strategy of a guy becoming a feminist to get close to women — much smarter really, because it’s not an attraction-liability for a woman to be in a submissive, supportive role.

But just be aware that many of these “super trad,” “anti-feminist,” “feminine” women have not only thotted it up in the past, but have only “changed” to try to scoop up the guys in this untapped, less competitive market. They are chameleons.

So when the reader asks if women can change from their past, the answer is yes. But the impetus is almost always to get attention from a group of upcoming guys; the changes are often only skin deep.

(You should see some of me and my friend’s DMs)

That said, these changes can stick. Women are more attractive when they become feminine, pleasant, etc. – and they are also happier once they accept this. So as more and more women orbit this community (there will soon be a multitude) I am not begrudging you to talk to them. Many will be phenomenal girlfriends. Just to be aware going in. Use and develop your discernment. There are many validation traps set for you; wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Because at the end of the day it’s the desire to be desirable that is guiding women to this new Eden, far more so than any internal value.

One last comment before we close.

I find it funny this topic came up because yesterday Matthew Hussey was mentioned, and this guy is case-in-point to the psychology above.

Matthew Hussey provides women with decent advice on how to attract men. But the main reason he is successful in doing it is because he legitimately looks like a model, is funny, charming, and unbelievably kind, complimentary, and supportive to the women around him.In other words he’s a dream to women… and they will adapt themselves in any way to please him — because if they can please him, maybe they can find their own dream.

Dark tactics, but you can’t hate on their effectiveness.

Anywho, another day, another deep dive into female psychology.

Hope you’re enjoying this, even if it’s just the tip (ha) of the iceberg.

The real magic happens when you put it all together like I have. You’ll never be in the dark about what’s going on around you.

A woman sends you a message and her intentions are as clear a sunny day… often more clear than they are to her.

(Imagine what that does not just for tactics, but your confidence.)But if you want this sort of advantage for yourself, you best jump onboard sooner than later.

I have a natural affinity for this stuff and it still took me a decade of study and experiences to get to where I am now.

Rare opportunity to gain much of that insight in just a few months.

Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat