Let it be known that despite my attacks against Red Pill dogmatism, I’m no dogmatic myself.
Even women I’d love to classify as “high quality” do devious things, especially in an emotional state.
For instance, a story that happened years ago with a (now-ex) friend of mine (“J”) and his girlfriend (“H”).
It begins at a bar — we were hanging out, per usual for us, having a good time, until at one point J’s friend got a bit too drunk and started causing trouble with some other patrons. The staff was getting pissy so “J” decided to take him home.
“H” and I got along well and were talking about some serious stuff, however, so we lingered a bit longer and chatted.
Now, it needs to be said — “H” adored her boyfriend.
She really, deeply loved him — he was pretty much all she ever talked about. They had some incredible psychological chemistry and compatibility.
But there were a few structural problems in place.
First off, he wasn’t doing quite as well at work recently. It’s not so much that he wasn’t ambitious… but he was in a career rut. Meanwhile she was doing quite well at her job.
And #2 — as I unintentionally found out — was that they weren’t having a lot of sex.
I can’t remember exactly the reasons for it, but it was on his side — my guess was the increasingly skewed power dynamic of the situation was unsettling for him. They lived together and she was paying the rent, etc… anyway not sure, this was a long time ago and I had a few drinks myself.
Regardless, the conversation became increasingly personal.
Which is OK, in doses… but there are risks in these situations you need to be careful of.
For instance, no matter your intentions — you don’t want to be in the position where someone’s woman is confiding in you.
SOMETIMES you’re playing the gay best friend in this situations, but more often it’s a “proxy” means of developing intimacy… especially if you and the woman have a warm “teasing” dynamic, and you’re an attractive guy.
And this is especially the case when the conversation turns to sex.
Indeed — confiding about sex with ANY member of the opposite sex is a risk if you’re trying to keep things platonic, because the topic makes people invariably think about sleeping with each other.
So if a friend’s woman starts talking about that sort of stuff, tread VERY carefully.
She might genuinely want the problem with her man resolved, but the subcommunication is “I have a sexual need I want addressed.” And it’s no coincidence she’s asking you.
Understand, women ask men to solve their problems as a way of flirting with them.
The reason for this is it puts the guy in the dominant position, increasing the polarity. This is especially the case in a sexual situation, where the guy effectively becomes a sex expert.
(Retards think whenever a woman asks for help it’s automatically “a beta ask” because they’re only used to experiencing it in that dynamic. But this submission is actually a key element of how women flirt and seduce — just because it’s a ruse for betas, it doesn’t mean it’s insincere for all men.)
Anyway, eventually she starts to get really drunk… and starts getting handsy.
I didn’t really process it at first, thinking it was platonic… but eventually she went in to kiss me.
I dodged, and had to very delicately extricate myself from the situation, and as a result the friendship fizzled. She never let on about it I’m sure, but she made me feel like I was guilty in her act… so even though I evaded the situation, I wanted to spend less time around them.
But the interesting part of the whole story was that the girl would never have left her boyfriend for me. In fact, she was telling me how much she loved the guy right up until the moment she made the move.
Point is this:
Biology and Psychology are both powerful forms of attraction and offer different motivations for women. You can have a hold on her heart, but it won’t necessarily be enough if the biological foundation is unstable.This girl was definitely influenced by hypergamy.
I objectively looked much better than my ex-friend (this was during my “swole” years, which are returning, btw, you wait) — and I was in a great position at my job, had a pretty girlfriend…
I know if I hadn’t had any of those variables, it’s unlikely anything would have happened.
But just because the shoe fits, it doesn’t mean it’s the only one.
Indeed — another, very complicated variable was a key motivation in provoking it.
She was her trying to get the intimacy of her boyfriend through me.
I was close to him, and therefore a perfect proxy for some of the passion he wasn’t giving her.
(A combination of the Jude Law / Natalie Portman scene in Cold Mountain, and the love triangle in Pearl Harbor.)
Anyway, the take away from this?
Pay attention to the many different signs revealed when interacting with women.
Because attraction is multivariable.
People can cheat out of desire, contempt, excitement, revenge, and to replace affection with someone they truly miss.
And if you don’t know how to parse these different motivations, you’ll simply find yourself blindsided by women’s actions.
Which is one of the benefits of working with me.
I know this stuff.
And — not to brag — but I don’t think many dating experts really do.
Attraction goes far beyond plug and play routines, or basic female biological impulse.
Life is complicated, and there is more than one variable deciding most interactions — especially with women, who are very complicated creatures.
Which is why understanding them intuitively is akin to a superpower… both for attracting women, and anticipating (and countering) their fragilities so you never lose them.
Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
