As many of you know, after an embarassing hiatus, I’ve returned to the gym — under the tutelage of the great Mike Vacanti (Mike’s the one who got Gary Vaynerchuck into shape)
Things have been going pretty well. Can’t tell if he’s buttering me up or not but my progress has been allegedly pretty great. A lot of “re-comping” muscle mass, back from my glory days…
At any rate, I pretty much ask questions throughout the workout about fitness, and one of the things we mentioned was about “gym timing.”
I mentioned we were there at 10:30 AM, when my testosterone was piquing, and if that would theoretically mean a better workout.
He said yes. Though the impact would be maybe 2%.
Which led to a little chat about “newbies” always wanting to optimize their gym routine when they’re not even going to the gym.
Kinda like with dating.I get a lot of questions from guys, including clients, asking me “what should I do in X situation.”
And I’m happy to discuss these theoretical situations, including the optimal way to respond.
At least a little.
But the real question is, are you actually out talking to women?
Is this situation you’re interested in “knowing what to do” something you’ve actually experienced?
Because that 2% optimization, like in the gym, means jack shit if you’re not showing up.
In fact it’s even a negative, because you’re wasting mental power with the details when you haven’t addressed at the crux of the issue.
(This is most common with smart guys)
So a reminder in case you’ve been considering otherwise:
Don’t put the cart before the horse.
If you want to improve with women, you need to take action.
You need to go and talk to them.
I can give you some insights before you make the move, but too much and it will clutter your mind… and actually have a negative feedback loop.
Understand, it is much better to take action poorly than to theorize perfectly.
Your brain learns fastest with action, and takes absorbs lessons when there is an emotional frame for said information to operate in.
Just like in fitness you can talk about timing your workouts, even your meals, but the most important things are actually working out and eating right.
So it is with dating.
Don’t focus on shifting 2% when the same amount of energy can shift 80%.
Anyway, you get the picture.
I’m helpful to work with, because I help men understand their experience at a depth and layer they otherwise could not… so they learn fast, and don’t make the same mistakes.
But I can’t teach guys who don’t act.
We could talk for hours every week and impact would be half as much as you just doing the assignments.
So consider applying, but only if you’re tired of your current dating experience, and want to take action: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
