The other week I was in Nashville, and spent an evening at the famous Bluebird Cafe.

For those who don’t know, the Bluebird Cafe is a tiny, non-descript bar in a shopping center outside of Nashville.

Seats no more than 100 people.

Surrounded by “California Pizza Kitchen” and other bunk food and retail chains.

And yet, this forgettable place where many a music star, such as Garth Brooks, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, and Keith Urban all made their starts.

It’s a rare experience too: unlike concerts where you’re removed from the performers, here singers are as little as one foot away. You get to see them of close; the vibe is intimate and leaves an impression.

(I ended up next to Brian Deseveaux, lead singer in Nine Days, the group with the cult song “Story of A Girl.” Passed him gin and Ts throughout his set.. wooo)

Anyway, we were lucky enough to get in the other week. 

And one thing caught my eye.

Across the room was a man sitting there with his two young daughters.

He was wearing a suit and had a pin on his lapel, and looked beaten down and distracted.

I knew instantly he was in politics.

(this was proven later to be true — he knew one of the singers and was introduced)

Further, I knew he was divorced. This was his “visitation.” 

It was obvious he loved his daughters, but didn’t really know them. He was trying to compensate for this, though they were too young and removed from his life to appreciate the gift.

Now, I can’t tell you the full backstory of this man.

I don’t know why he got divorced.

But I’ve got an idea.

All work no play.

Politics is a busy job. And while I won’t reveal who he is, suffice to say he was a high-up guy with a lot of influence.

I mentioned the other day “You have your wife, your kids, and your career. Pick two.”

Well, some careers take everything.

Sometimes you don’t have the luxury of choosing one relationship over another.

And sometimes, what you choose can cause everything else in your life to come crashing down.

The point I’m coming to is simple:

The choices you make in your broader life affect your ability to attract and keep women.

You can’t divorce yourself from this chain effect.

I have some guys work with me to improve with women, and then after doing the deep work they realize: their life isn’t what they want AT ALL.

Women were just a symptom.

So make sure that you’re ready for more than just superficial changes if you want to change your relationship with women.

No, this isn’t your standard pitch.

In fact, it’s an anti-pitch.

If you decide to work with me everything in your life might change.

Because sometimes it has to.

If the sad, broken politician came up to me looking for a woman, I’d ask him if a woman was really what he wanted.

Maybe he needed a deeper shift.

Or maybe he just needed to come to terms with the sacrifices his choices entailed.

Anyway.

If you’re for things to be different, go here: www.patstedman.com/application

Just know… they may not occur just with women…

– Pat