I’ve somewhat positioned myself as the anti-game dating coach in these corners.
While other people talk about it constantly, I tend to minimize it… focusing instead on the deep work.But the truth is, I’m not anti-game.
It’s a Pillar of Attraction (Persona).
I simply speak out against it, because I see it overdone.
Case study #1:
When I was in Australia, I was staying at a friend’s house.
A girl lived in that house, and had a guy friend.
They were close. And had a lot of chemistry.
(they flirted constantly)
But nevertheless, this girl wasn’t interested in taking things with the guy romantically.
Now, part of this may have been looks.
(I asked her as much later, and she noted that he wasn’t exactly her type)
But the biggest thing *by far* was that despite how funny, personable, and charming this guy was… he was constantly trying to get the girl’s attention.
This is a very subtle subcommunication you need to watch for.
(See my masterclass for more awareness on this)
Because on paper, the guy is doing everything right.
But give it time and you start to realize, he’s trying to be the center of attention… and is usually trying to get a specific person’s attention.
In the process making himself not a charmer, but a clown.
And losing the frame and all desire.
Because this guy was overgaming the girl.
I imagine if he gave a little, and then backed off, she would respond more favorably to his advances.
As it was, she rejected him.
And he became drunk, aggressive, and embarrassing.
Lesson in here, methinks.
You can have a remarkable asset… you can be one of the most witty, entertaining guys out there… but if you are directing all that charm towards an outcome you’re going to look desperate.
And it will backfire against you.
This can be difficult to change.
Since, it can be hard to tell what to do differently.
Fortunately, it’s one of the many things I work on with clients.
Game is a great thing, but game needs to be integrated in the whole of your Personality.
Otherwise, it’s going to be constant work, for minimal return.
And even great opportunities like the story above where the girl is yours to lose, can go by the wayside.
Go here to do things differently: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
