I got into a cordial disagreement with Nash (@daysofgame) on Twitter the other day.
Now, I don’t want anything here misconstrued.
Nash is very smart, and moreover a good guy. I like him a lot.
And, I don’t want to put him on blast.
But I think it worthwhile for you readers to understand our difference in philosophy.
Nash took issue with my comment about modern dating “not being hard.”
He thinks it is. That it takes effort and work to find someone worthwhile.
And the truth is, he’s right.
I’d be a fool to claim it was “easy,” given the results of the average person leave much to be desired.
There’s only one little problem, however.
I don’t talk to the average.
Or at least, those aspiring to move beyond it.
I know what average people do.
It’s why they get average results.
It’s why everything they do is “difficult.”
Now, I’m not saying Nash is average. Far from it.
He works hard, and he’s excellent at what he does (pick up). It’s why he gets so many girls.
But let’s be honest.
Most people do NOT have the time or inclination to permanently revolve their life around dating.
Most people are not pick up artists or daygamers.
(Nor could they all be… or the tactics would get old fast)
Moreover, it doesn’t really make any sense that there is no way to meet girls other than to literally devote your life to meeting girls.
This has never been the case historically.
(the opposite, actually)
And, it’s telling that for those who commit themselves to it, it apparently doesn’t even work so much… at least in terms of getting an awesome girlfriend.
Note that I don’t speak any of this from theory.
I learned this the hard way.
I spent pretty much every waking thought wondering how I could attract women.
Which women around me I could approach.
How I could meet more women.
So eventually, I got pretty good at it.
(practice makes perfect, and I practiced a lot)
But there was a problem.
One, dating took up a ridiculously large amount of my life and mental attention.
And two… most of the women weren’t really anything that special to me.
Most of the time, what chemistry was simply situational. Other times, we got along and dated… but only for a few weeks or months, since it was obvious there was nothing more.
Yes, this was fun.
(for a time)
But I wasn’t really getting anywhere.
I found myself telling the same stories… getting the same reaction over and over. The seduction was clockwork.
But it was like performing in the same play over and over again.Groundhog’s day.
And little by little, the adulation of the crowd began to mean less.
I know, I know… I’m speaking from an emotional standpoint right now.
Maybe you, who just wants to meet girls, haven’t reached this point, and just can’t relate (which is OK).
But you should still pay attention… because what I’m about to tell you is a way for you to have your cake and eat it too.
A way to hook up… but with better connections, and with less work.
It’s pretty simple, really.
(Though like Nash said, not easy… at least on the front end)
You have to stop giving a shit about girls.
I don’t mean this in the blasé sense.I’m not telling you to “play hard to get” or “let them chase you.”
Or, to drop out of the dating market entirely.
I simply mean, you should start focus your shits on yourself.
Look internal, before external.
And that starts with being ruthlessly honest about your intentions.
About what sort of people you’re attracting… and why.
Cause I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
People will whine and scream, they will attack me saying “that’s not true”… justify it since I’m “out of the market”… and will slander me of all sorts of malicious accusations (such as the worst one of all: being a marketer).
But I know for a fact that people who know what they value, and are unafraid to go after it don’t have a problem with dating.
It’s just not difficult for them.
Give it a few months (usually less), and they will have a high quality girl.
And they won’t have to go through that many “bad eggs” to find her.
We’ll talk more about this tomorrow.
I just want to really emphasize something for you now.
If your approach requires constant effort, and is only giving you middling rewards, you are not playing the right game.
Understand: there are lots of different games you can play.
There isn’t just one.
I think it’s great there are gurus out there who have mastered the art of cold approaching.
Maybe they enjoy the numbers approach, and the constant refining of their system.
But personally?
I’m a lazy guy who doesn’t like shallow interactions.
I hate talking to people I don’t care about talking to, and I hated when I used to put on this act because I thought it was the only way to get women in my life.
It’s not.
It’s time intensive. It involves lots and lots of rejection.
And methinks does not yield a quality product… or at least, not in justifiable proportions.
So I figured out an alternative.
One that has worked quite nicely for myself (though I wasn’t even aware of it at the time, though I’ve since reverse-engineered it)… and one that has been working beyond expectations for my clients.
(even I am surprised when a client who is completely jaded with the dating world tries my approach, and gets a girlfriend the next week… and he ain’t the only one)
Anyway, pitch over.
To learn my ways, go here: www.patstedman.com/application
No, my mentorship ain’t cheap. But time is money.
And I will save you boatloads of that.
– Pat
PS If you want to see a more comprehensive view of how Nash and I think, check out his review of my masterclass. Very interesting takeaways!
