As you know, I took a break from Twitter and this list last week.
Some of it was family-time. Some of it was an already filled-up coaching schedule.
The rest of it?
Recalibrating my thoughts.
I started working with a mentor, and he’s already significantly impacting my outlook on things…crystallizing some ideas that I’ve been dancing around, but hadn’t quite put together.
One of these understandings is that there are different levels to relationships.
For instance, when people say “men are men, women are women” they are correct.
Biology and hormones dictate that we are wired differently and have different needs.
This shouldn’t be shocking to any of you.
What might be surprising, however, is that people who say “men and women aren’t really that different” are also correct — at least at a certain level.
Once you reach a point of psychological growth the distinctions between male and female behavior really do begin to blur.
Which is why, unlike many, I have come to develop some degree of sympathy for the 1960s counterculture movement. Not because they did much of anything correctly, but because they understood that there was a psychological suppression rampant in the West that was eating our soul.
There was a real desire and feeling that we could rise above it. And with 100 million people dead in the previous 50 years… that we had to.
So postmodernism, gender deconstruction, all that nonsense was correct in that there was a world of living that existed beyond mere biological determinism. That we should question assumptions.
However, the hippies and their cultural offspring (which we are now living in) ran into two serious problems:
– they approached this next level with a feeling of disgust for what preceded it
– most were not at a level of development to live as they liked
Think of it like this: they built a new story to the “apartment” of civilization so they could see higher, but then blew up the previous floors… like living on a sixth story that is sitting mostly on ground level, with some rubble underneath.
Which is why this “evolved” apartment of society is very quickly becoming like the ground floor of humanity in the past, inundated and led by hate-filled, mentally ill people. The veneer is love but the energy is vile.
And it’s affected how people are approaching relationships today.
The change in demeanor from “Wow you’re so hot and cool let’s hang out” to “fuck you bitch you cunt, kill yourself” is both a modern and barbarian phenomenon. Despite our language, we are unevolved today — so unevolved, so needy that we are unconsciously determined to prove we are little more than animals.
This is the “blue pill” life, the life of desperation and dissonance.
Which is why the “red pill” is a curative to it — a grounding in reality, in distinctions, in responsibility.It is a reconstruction of some of society’s ground floors.
But here’s the thing… that’s all it can do. It can’t build higher.
Which is a problem… because while methods of the hippies was wrong, their aim was not.
(some actually got to this point individually, to be fair, though they lacked the insight to see it was not scalable at large)
They just didn’t understand that you can’t build another floor for society unless accept the prior floors.
Higher truths are only true once lower truths have been acknowledged.
This is hard to explain… but because I accept men and women are different fundamentally I can have a more “human” relationship with less distinctions between us. One with more give and take… with deep love… this is one the blue pill, the modern limp-wristed barely-a-man idealizes but is unwilling to put the work in to get.
You must accept your role as a man before you can become an individual.
You must become a man to become a person.
This is why “high end” relationships transcend red pill theory, and why some red pill relationships can kill love.
Sometimes the issue in a relationship is biological — you’re a fat little bitch, and you need to develop masculinity to bring desire back.
But sometimes the issue is psychological — one party wants to go deeper — and in these cases “being a man” and embracing stoicism, building up sexual value, etc. isn’t going to fix things… and can even make them worse.
(I just talked to a client the other day who’s masculine father ruined his marriage from this — I hear these stories constantly)
Which is why when I work with clients, I always try to assess where they are at and what they want… or if they are in a relationship, what kind of relationship they are in.Because my approach depends entirely on this judgment.
Some cases my advice is very red pill, others it is distinctly not.
Context and nuance, always.
So how do you know if my coaching is right for you?
The truth is, while I can help men at any prior level — I’ve been through them all — my speciality is taking them from the red pill to what’s beyond.
This is my distinct niche: if you think the red pill makes sense but you have some reservations about it… if you want more, you feel there is more…
You are my ideal client and there is nobody else out there who will help you more.
And this shift isn’t easy… so guidance isn’t a bad idea.
But make no mistake: helping guys get laid is a key part of my work, and I consider it huge part of getting the mindset described above.
So if you’re a guy who is just getting “red pilled”… if you want to do better with women, have freedom to hook up, but not just get notches… you are also my ideal client.
I will put you on a fast track to speed through these levels of consciousness… and will save you years of frustration and pain.
(no one else I’m aware of can do this)
Anyway, link is here: www.patstedman.com/application
Till tomorrow…
– Pat
