A common adage in the dating scene is “opposites attract, but they don’t stay together”
There’s a lot of truth to this expression. “Opposite” personalities are generally incompatible… they interact with the world in different ways.
So while relationships are possible, they aren’t natural.
And yet, such people often get together.
What gives?
Nothing too crazy, really.
Opposites are opportunities for growth.
And our mind *always* unconsciously seeks such things.
Interacting intimately with someone wired totally differently than you is going to reveal your personality’s weak spots.
It will help you to evolve in certain necessary ways.
Now, will it TOTALLY change you? No.
Absent perhaps some serious physical trauma, personality can’t be changed.
But it can add new layers.
Like a tree grows, it can sprout new limbs that stabilize and enrich the base.
So dating opposites can be good.
Committing long-term to them, however, can be a bit more difficult.
(Which is why these relationships usually fall apart.)
One last comment before I go enjoy the 4th of July children’s bicycle parade in my “village by the sea” (not NYC).
A lot of people assume if a relationship is easy it’s right. And if it’s not it’s wrong.
This can be true, and obviously “easiness” is a good sign. But don’t underestimate the degree to which your baggage is what’s creating problems, rather than their personality being “opposite.”
If you’ve got internal stuff to deal with, you’re gonna be a problem with anybody.
Which is why you’ve got to sort them out.
I’m here if you need me: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
