My wife’s surprise for me was something special this past weekend.
She contacted pretty much all of my friends, some of whom she hadn’t even met yet.
(Yes, we encourage each other to hang out with our respective friends, not necessarily including each other)
Which really blew me away.
How did she even know how to get in touch with them?
It was simple, apparently. She just looked at my recent phone contacts.
A little thing, that actually reminded me of why our relationship is so great.
We TRUST each other.
Imagine for a second if I had been messaging other girls.
My wife would have been looking through my phone for friends contacts, to set up a massive surprise party for me… and she would have seen some other girls I was flirting with.
It would have destroyed her, and probably destroyed the marriage. The only thing worse than infidelity is finding it out when you’re giving your all to your partner.
Which is why I think cheating is not only wrong, but retarded.
It puts you on edge in a relationship, which by default takes you emotionally out of it.
You need to worry about being “found out” so you create barriers.
And it makes you suspicious of them.
It’s why I call trust the “special sauce” in any relationship.
Everything grows from it. And everything degrades in absence of it.
My relationship is great, but it isn’t perfect. And there were times when it was outright bad.
But it continues to grow, even though my wife and I are arguably not ideal personalities, because we’ve got trust.
So if you intend to get into a relationship with someone, don’t fuck with them.
Don’t do this anyway, but it’s really important if you want something serious to grow.
This includes the grey areas, like secretly hooking up with girls when you’re getting serious (but not explicitly committed).
Sure, you CAN do this… but if you play “legalese” with your behavior, you’ll make her think you’re looking for loopholes in what you can get away with.
You’ll make her think that you’re not someone she can trust. Because even as she’s opening up deeply to you, and getting the impression that you’ve got something rare with each other, you’re pursuing other women.
Of course, it’s different if you tell her you’re doing this.
But the point is honesty.
Be honest from the outset. Allow that foundation of trust to build.
If you have it, you can overcome any obstacle.
It’s when it disappears that relationship loses its ability to survive.Anyway, enough for now.
Except this:
Many guys wonder why they attract shitty, untrustworthy women.
And some of this MAY be because they can’t read signs and red flags… something I work on with them extensively.
But chances are, it’s also likely because they’re not trustworthy themselves.
This is a behavioral issue that stems from a belief.
One that I can help you to dislodge.
If you find yourself in the clutches of such women, might be something to look into.
Go here to apply, if it applies: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
