Today is an exciting day for me. My 30th birthday is in just a few days, and my wife has been planning some monumental surprise for me starting in the next 10 minutes.
I didn’t really plan on doing anything, since I thought I would be in France for it a couple of months ago (still going – but other commitments pushed the trip back 2 weeks).
Which was fine. I was happy to meditate on this life-landmark solo in Provence.
But my wife is an extroverted sensor, and was a little peeved at my selfish approach to such a big day.
So when the weekend opened up she jumped on the opportunity to do something “surprising” for me.
She’s put a lot of work into it, so I’m excited to see what happens.
It’s a reminder of what why relationships are so great.
Sure, a girl you are dating can surprise you. Cute gestures abound.But when you’ve established a history with someone, you know them better.And moreover: what they do means more.
Because they are geared towards appreciation towards YOU… not some clandestine “girl game” plot to get you committed.
We’ll talk more about this distinction between Personality and Persona another day.
But for now, gotta run.
9 minutes till go time.
And my wife is very punctual (unlike yours truly).
UPDATE:
So that was a crazy night.
If you got Saturday’s (brief) email or saw on Twitter, you’d know I got taken out by my wife on a “scavenger hunt” across NYC.\
12 hours of clues, each spot surprised by a different friend… some of whom came from hours away.
I have to say, it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.
It took an ENORMOUS amount of work and coordination to do. There must have been 30 or 40 of us by the end of the night… and she only had like 2 weeks to plan it.
(one of the clues was on a miniature sailboat that floated past me in central park.. wtf)
We’ll talk about her later this week… but it was a reminder of how much love I have in my life.
Not just from her, but from my friends.
I’m grateful.
Because it wasn’t always the case.
My social life used to be a disaster.
For most of my childhood I had one friend. I have a hard time comprehending what it would have been like growing up without him.
(He’s still my best friend, and him showing up in the city was one of the highlights of Saturday)
I can remember being 20 and leaving a frat party and running back to my dorm, writing out emotional nonsense frantically on paper to calm down because my social anxiety was so high.
I felt that literally everybody thought I was a loser and was judging me.
Now?
I don’t give a shit about most people, and have an extremely eclectic, close mix of friends… some met in high school and college obviously, but others on Twitter, meetups, gym, jury duty, you name it…
Point is…
I know how to connect with people.
And can help you to do the same.
Which is important, especially if you care about making your dating life as fun and easy as possible.
Being popular in a broad social network is about as powerful if not more as being “model handsome” in preselection.
Simply put, it makes it VERY easy to get girls (they basically come to you, think of it as a “funnel” in dating).
I’m bad at marketing funnels, but these, not so much.
If you want me to help set one up for you, go here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
