It’s been raining all week in NYC, and the opportunities for adventure have been a bit limited.
So I did what any reasonable person who has recovery on the mind and nothing to do: head to the spa.
I don’t know if you’ve been — a lot of guys have sadly gotten caught up in the “spas are chick stuff” meme and avoided them — but they’re one of the best things out there for mind and body.
(In fact, one of the few personal perks I really look forward to once I have true financial abundance is to go every week)
Anyway, at the spa you’re supposed to be quiet.
The point is a calm, relaxing atmosphere.
I have rarely ever experienced this as a problem. After all, people come to the spa for the same reason: peace.
Except apparently this one girl.
She was in the “salt pool” with a cadre of fellow thots, talking loudly about “sexual fluidity” (specifically: about some guy who’s “not gay” but is hooking up with guys).
Now, I actually don’t care about the content of her soliloquy… even though it’s not exactly my cup of tea (or the right place anyway, save it for brunch).
What I cared more about was the volume and inflection of her voice.She had a “vocal fry” and her tone was incredibly abrasive.
And it made me think about how much you can tell about the desirability of someone based on their voices.
Yes, some of this plays off masculine and feminine themes.
Men tend to do best with deep voices, women with melodic ones.
(note both are “rich” in their own ways, however)
But really, these are bonuses; a form of aural beauty.
What you want to AVOID is sending the wrong subcommunication… like this girl (and so many others).
She was telling everybody around her that she had a massive ego.
Self-absorbed.
And expected to be treated the best (while doing nothing in return).
How do I know all of this?
Feminine, humble girls don’t start loudly opining about vulgar things in a quiet place.
Looking at how people behave in a context tells you A LOT about who they are inside.
And the vocal fry doesn’t help.
I can’t explain why, exactly. Maybe it’s a meta-tell for a modern feminist, since it is apparently seen as a status signal for “independent, upwardly mobile women” to affect it… and we know women who identify with (though not necessarily possess) such traits are notoriously obnoxious.
Such women are society’s perfectly programmed “career girl narcissists,” who follows whatever the new social trend is (hence the fry, which is a pop culture creation).
Or maybe they’re just ESFJs.
(But I repeat myself. Kidding. Sort of.)
Who knows.
Anyway, be on the lookout.
So you can do what I did, which is walk away…
For more insights on subcommunication, work with me: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
