I recently finished off Vanity Fair — an eloquent, satirical novel of upper-class Britain at the close of the Napoleonic Wars and the years following.
(Note: This is different from the ironically-named magazine of today which elevates said snobby upper class)
One of the greatest things about this work — published in 1848 — is the no-holds-barred explanations it gives of human nature.
Men and women are described without any political correctness: virtues, vices, and (of course) vanities are all exposed.One impulse in particular being the male desire for importance… even if it is importance of a sacrificial nature.
Most of you are familiar with the term describing these latter men: “white knights”
However, one thing I find even more interesting is how many “seducers” fall into the same trap (in their own way).
You see, most seducers — especially the amateurs — have a weakness.
Indeed, it’s a weakness many more experienced female seducers use to their advantage.
They fall in love with their own ability to seduce.
You might think of it a bit like the quintessential intellectual, in love with his own mind, missing analyses that contradict his ego.
Except in this case, it’s all about their sex appeal.
They think they are attractive, and that they have won over the girl since she flatters them.
One of the protagonists, Becky (one of literature’s original anti-heroes, in fact) plays this part well. She makes all of high-society’s men, including its rakes, fall for her.
She understands male ego takes many forms, and inflates it accordingly… and to her advantage.
As a result, many vain men have what you might call “unfair” fortunes.
The lone exception?
The story’s white knight.
Now, this man is quite the dupe in his own way… or at least, for most of the story. And yours truly would never recommend you emulate these aspects of him.
But one thing he gets down PERFECTLY is virtue… which allows him to see Becky’s deceit a mile away. Thus he avoids her traps — and even gains her respect.
Meanwhile the others who play their liasons dangereuse suffer accordingly.
Including (spoiler alert) Becky.
For a very simple yet frequently missed reason:
You can’t win a race to the bottom.
A particularly germane point given some of the questions people ask me. You see, a lot of guys, finding themselves with a not-so-high quality woman, want me to tell them how to game her.
Such men are surprised and occasionally frustrated when I refuse.
The only smart thing to do around a shitty woman is get out.
I refuse to encourage men to dig in the opposite direction.
Now, I still teach game, because it lubricates approaches and seasons relationships.
But the real reason to understand it is for DEFENSE not offense.
Few things are better at getting people to reveal their true intentions.
Which brings us to the pitch:
I have gotten so good at this, I can see if someone is shitty definitively with less than 15 minutes of talking to them. I am at the point where red flags are so obvious to me I can sense and avoid them like an experienced New Yorker can fast-walk through crowds at rush hour… predicting exactly how someone is going to act, and why.
And I can help you to build up this instinct too.
Not all are ready for it.
I admit, some need to keep getting burned to see the importance of character screening.
But for those who find their time valuable, and want to date the well-adjusted women sooner than later…
You can apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
