Another day, another spat with some of these RP guys. I know some of you love the drama, some of you hate it. I expect it’ll be over soon-ish, but since our audiences overlap, don’t be surprised if it takes some time for the separation to be clear and complete…
Anyway, one thing I wanted to mention was the RP implicit hostility to marriage.
And why it makes sense.
(That is, you accept the initial premise.)
Think about it like this:
If all relationships with women are based on power and fear, then why would you want to get married to a woman?
I’m not going to defend the marital laws against men, because they’re indefensible…
But I can’t help but see the real relevance is the POWER dynamics the law creates.
If you’re in a relationship with women based on leverage (and only leverage), then the law is a real dangerous thing to subject yourself to.
No wonder marriage is considered suicide for a man.
But the problem with arguments is that they don’t work so well if you can poke a hole in the assumptions their circular logic is based on…
And that’s really, in essence, why I’ve had the problems with these guys that I do.
Because healthy relationships are NOT based exclusively on power.
Yes, power does matters. And in many ways relationships ARE a market exchange or a negotiation; the more value you provide, the more you get.
But ask yourself: are these the only relationships you have in your life? Transactional ones?
If so, I feel bad for you.
You’ve become a victim of the commercialization of society. You’ve lost the ability to form connections with people. To love.
Here’s a fact:
Friendships are based on intrinsic value exchange, not explicit. You give because you know you’ll get. And more importantly: because you CARE about the person you’re giving to.
Indeed, you WANT to give, because you want that person to do better.
These are the kind of relationships that make life worth living. The ones that provide meaning and emotional value.
And they’re no different in the romantic realm, which is why we want to get into relationships with women to begin with.
I know some jaded asshole is going to call this mentality “blue pill.” After all, from what I’ve read on a blog wanting a relationship where you and a woman love each other is “male romanticism.” (Pretty sure if I dig deep enough someone will admit the real red pill is that “happiness is beta.”)
But they’re wrong.
When it comes to attraction, psychology matters as much as biology.
Women fall for men (and vice-versa) because they FEEL UNDERSTOOD.
And this is especially the case as you get older, and the biological impulses fade (somewhat) into the background.
More here we’ll dig into later.
But for now, if you’re a man who cares about nuance, think about working with me: www.patstedman.com/application