It’s funny being in relationships with women. Even the most “level headed” girls go through emotional swings for seemingly no reason.
It’s usually pretty annoying. We’re feeling great and then she comes over pissy about something. Bad energy, ruining our good vibes.
So we want to solve it. We want to make her happy, because WE want to be happy. We don’t want her moods getting in the way.
Most guys, being logical problem solvers, thus decide to fix her mood. And so they ask her a simple, innocent question:
“What’s wrong?”
Those of you with any experience in relationships, probably know what happens next…
She gets MORE pissed off, and if she responds at all, says “NOTHING”
Ok, we could explore what you should do instead. But I’ve already written a post all about it, so I’m not going to bother.
Instead, I’m going to tell you why asking a girl what’s wrong 9/10 times makes her more upset.
The INTENTIONS are wrong.
As we’ve established, the reason why we want to solve a woman’s problems is not because we genuinely want them solved. To the extent that we do want things better for her, it’s to get something in return.
Maybe it’s peace and quiet.
Perhaps it’s validation and sex.
Regardless of which takes center stage, however, there’s ALWAYS a selfish reason beneath it all.
In the case of the latter, we’re basically falling into a “beta” frame, being “good” to get things only women can provide.
But in the case of the former?
We’re subcommunicating an INABILITY to deal with her emotions. If she’s upset, we feel upset.
We are telling her that she can throw us off by acting off-kilter.
Which makes us, unconsciously, untrustworthy.
Don’t get me wrong, the devil is in the details here. If a woman is constantly acting emotional, it could be that you’re an unstable, unmasculine presence in her life… or it could be that she’s volatile and difficult herself.
(generally, a combination of the two, since like attracts like)
And if a woman is CONSTANTLY acting badly, and you can’t see a source on your end, then maybe you chose the wrong woman. There’s nothing manly about tolerating non-stop bullshit.
But I want you to think, when you try to fix things, WHY you are trying to fix them.
Because remember: the first rule of women is “don’t let them control how you feel.” If a woman can control how you feel, she can control how you behave. And once she controls that, you’ve lost the frame… and it’s all downhill from there.
Never forget, women are masters of psychological warfare, even as they do not realize it.
If you are trying to get her to act in any way to change your mood, you’ve started to lose the battle on a deep level.
Never make her responsible for how you feel. Or you’ll soon feel a lot worse.
And if you find yourself doing this unconsciously, and don’t know how to stop?
You know where to go: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS I go into this topic in depth in my masterclass… and even have a sample video on this topic at the bottom of my sales page. Check it out, and get the course: https://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page
