The other day there were a couple of great comments by Avaritia (@ethenes) and Randy Treibel on something that’s been a real fascination of mine recently: Cluster B (personality disorder) women… and the men who date them. A few highlights here:
“if you ever want a cluster B to leave you alone, kill them with kindness. Tell them they’re a worthless piece of trash that you never cared about and they’ll call you daddy.”
“I get it, but a lot of these TRP chase cluster Bs”
“nearly everyone in TRP is on the NPD spectrum so it serves the purpose of narc supply/demand, the status quo always finds itself”
Without rehashing old feuds, this summed up something a lot of us noticed a few months ago — many in TRP carry around a lot of baggage that not only clouds their judgment, but threatens to pull other guys down into their own hell.
The truth is while TRP might be an insightful counterbalance to the mainstream narrative of perpetual female victimhood, it misses that:
1. Neither gender is defined solely by how they are at their worst
2. If you’re damaged you’re going to create major confirmation bias by dating almost exclusively damaged women
In other words, don’t generalize all women based on the cluster-B types YOU date. Because pain, manipulation, abuse are just not things healthily adjusted women like.
Indeed, if women used to do terrible things to you, the main takeaway is not that women are fucked up, but that you were a beta who was bait for borderlines — which I have just cheesily decided to call a “bait-uh.” The common mistake is trying to solve this by becoming a predator of such women instead of avoiding them entirely.
Randy had one more line I thought worth sharing:
“The paradox of TRP is that following it religiously makes you toxic, but not knowing it makes you blind”
This is 100% accurate, and I wish more people could operate with this nuance. TRP guys are right in that you NEED to understand how badly women can act to avoid being a target. But seeing traps everywhere doesn’t make you wise — it makes you paranoid. And paranoid minds not only fixate on enemies, they create more of them.
Come into situations as clear-headed as possible so you can see which women are worth pursuing and which are bad news. And never date a woman you have to do bad things to in order to keep. These women will destroy your soul.
Which is where my job comes in.
My work with men is wide-ranging but I really excel in two areas: deep work to unravel dissonance / self-sabotaging beliefs, and screening women for character / health.
So if you’re having a hard time reading women or if you find yourself sending the wrong (unattractive) signals to women regularly, I might just be your guy… because I’ll be able to diagnose what’s wrong (and how to fix it) fast.
If you’re down, sign up here: www.patstedman.com/application
Talk soon…
Pat
FYI – I only publish old emails on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily-ish ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin
