Hey hey, I’m back. Thanks for waiting around.
The last 6-7 weeks have been good for me. A lot of changes inside and out, and I’m finally ready to get back in the writing game.
Today I want to talk about the interplay between Personality and Persona. As you know, Personality is your psychological type, psychological health, and personal ethos (values, etc.). Persona is your “game,” and more broadly, your masculinity.Although the two are distinct, they overlap considerably.
For instance, some personalities are more aggressive and directive by nature. These types naturally find it easier to be masculine than types which are more laid-back and empathic (note that naturally, more men are the former types, more women the latter).
For the former type, growth will involve giving their masculinity more depth and sensitivity. It might mean not simply being a leader, but being a leader with more consideration of the needs of his woman and family.
For the latter type, it will be more directly about them stepping into their role as a man; integrating their empathy with assertiveness.
In this way the development of Personality interacts with Persona. Yet the two remain different.
You can be an integrated man with a masculine persona, or you can have a feminine one.
This has nothing to do with personality all about your attitude towards the opposite sex.
Masculinity and femininity are filters; they are strategies that you orient your personality through.
Example: If a woman’s personality is “get shit done,” that can be channeled towards creating a home, helping the family vision to get implemented. It doesn’t mean she needs to take the reigns and lead the family — she doesn’t have to be a ball-buster — she can use those skills to be a facilitator.
Similarly, a guy who is more of a caretaker can be masculine by leading the family; his gestures may be more romantic in nature, but orientation towards the feelings of others does not mean he is ruled by others, simply that they takes a greater spot in his decision-making.
The point is, while it might be “easier” to be masculine or feminine based on your personality, there is a way for all personalities to channel their behavior masculinely or femininely.
Just because you’re a more “sensitive” guy it doesn’t mean you can’t lead. And it doesn’t mean you won’t be good at leading.
Every man who wants a woman acts more masculine when he sees a woman he wants. It’s hormonal; it’s wired in you.
Don’t diminish it by saying “I’m not masculine by nature.” That’s a cop-out, your personality precludes you of nothing in this regard.
Anyway, some food for thought for now.
If you want to work with me, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
FYI – I only publish old emails on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily-ish ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin
