This is a topic I’ve written about in the past, but due to some recent demand I want to revisit.
There is much going out these days about personality type-attraction (indeed, I’ve got a post dedicated to it coming out this week).
The idea is that each personality type has one type in particular that is their “soul mate” or perfect match.
I think there’s some credibility to this. Types have their own chemistry, it follows that some will be deeper and more compatible than others. But I also see a problem with it many guys are going to fall into, so I want to make a few comments here before this post goes out.
Envisioning the perfect girl comes with pros and cons.
The pros are you know what you want, and once you know what you want you tend to find it, given enough time and persistence. Perhaps more crucially, you also know what to avoid so you don’t waste time.
The cons are that you often fall in love with the image you’ve created, which may or may not exist in reality.
And the rarer your ideal is, the harder you will fall for it should you reach it.
For example.
If you have a certain set of criteria you want for a girl, but your frame isn’t strong, the second you find a girl who begins to check you boxes you will fall head over heels for her.
She becomes your unicorn. And once she realizes that, it’s only a matter of time before she runs off, never to be seen again.
I am very cautious of anything that facilitates guys adopting this mindset.
Regardless of their personality type, women remain women. They have the same impulse towards guys who put them on a pedestal even if they are potentially “soul mates.”
Relationships are complex, and their success depends less on the type of the people involved than their polarity and integration.
Years ago I wrote about this, questioning the assumptions many guys have when they are thinking of leaving a relationship.
It’s easy to project issues onto the other person when there are troubles. It’s easy to think that if only you were with the “ideal type” things would be perfect. It’s easy to not look inward and see where you are falling short.It’s also stupid and self-defeating.
The truth is you only know if a relationship is unfulfilling when you have ceased being unfulfilled with yourself.
Maybe it’s easier to start over, maybe it’s easier to address things on your own.
But be very careful of imagining the “grass is greener” when your yard is brown only because you’ve stopped watering it.
The prerequisite for a great relationship is getting your life together.
Then you can offer your girlfriend the choice of joining you… and guide her to the behavior you deserve.
Based on how she responds, you’ll know whether it’s time to leave or stay.
And if you want some help doing all of this?
You should probably get my masterclass.
Because 3 hours alone are dedicated to navigating and improving relationships.
And you’ve got another 11 hours dedicated to improvement elsewhere with yourself and women when you’re done.
– Pat
PS Prefer personalized help? Apply to work with me.
