Someone the other day on Twitter noted how interesting it is reading the biographies of famous people. Not because of what they’re famous for, mind you, but for what they did before.

Invariably, their lives weave through all sorts of adventures and tragedies before they end up in their role that defines them historically.

I mentioned Churchill (generic, I know) as a prime example of one of these people. When he was in his early 20s he was in Afghanistan, Sudan, and eventually South Africa doing war journalism (as a side job — he was also in the British Military itself). This last campaign made him famous after he was captured by the Boers, escaped from jail, and sneaked across the border on a train to Mozambique. He was a national hero and celebrity well before he was known for his politics.

(If you’re into old movies, a great one is Young Winston, which details his youth. If you want the whole story of his life, the book “Churchill: A Study In Greatness” by Geoffrey Best is the one I’d recommend)

Anyway, as usual some loser emerged out of the woodwork to critique Churchill, more or less noting how many people died under his decisions.

Now, I’m no Churchill fan-boy.

Though I admire the man, I welcome any nuanced criticisms of his life — god knows there are plenty of areas to target. His Gallipoli decision was a strategic disaster, killing tens of thousands for nothing in the First World War, and his resistance to decolonization consistently put him out of steps with the times.

But to judge a man holistically because “people died under his decisions” is a huge tell you are a pussy and lack the capacity for leadership now and in the future.

The reality is that leadership is a difficult job.It requires enormous sacrifices, stress, and moral burdens.

Things go right, you can only accept a modicum of credit. Things go wrong, it’s all on you.

It’s similar in relationships.

Though the post-modern power-obsessed world seems to think that it’s good being on top, the reality is that he who has power serves.

You want to the dominant one in your relationship, be prepared for psychic energy to transfer from you to your woman. Be prepared for more work, more responsibility, and more decisions.

The benefit?

With some women, there is none.

They just take, and you are their slave.

(This is, in fact, far too many relationships today)

It’s also why increasing numbers of men prefer to stay out of them.

I can’t blame these men. The reason to shack up with a woman is kids, companionship, but most importantly, the possibility that the inspiration and motivation she gives you outweighs the energy and resources she takes. That they will accelerate your growth and development.

Many women in fact do this.

(These are called healthy relationships)

But unfortunately, many other modern women have lost this ability to inspire men, all while demanding even more.

Is it worth the risk?

I believe it is. At least 90% of men need women to reach their full potential, and arguably every man needs a committed relationship to a woman for at least at some areas of their life to grow. Women are perpetual frame testers, and are experts at showing you areas of improvement.

But you can’t go into it blindly. Women can very easily take more than they give. You need to choose wisely — and even then, it’s not always going to be easy if you don’t understand your role viscerally.

“With great power comes great responsibility” — and responsibility is a burden. You want a “red pill” marriage, you can’t fuck around. You have to be on your game 24/7.

If you’re not up for that, it’s all good. But don’t complain about women not giving you what you want. Go play your video games and shut up. If you are not in the arena, you have not earned a seat at the table to talk about the “state of women.”

Yes, I am being harsh, but some men out there need to hear it.

I am not interested in your opinion about women if you are “going your own way.” No man is.

Align yourself with your so-called “life without women” and stop talking about them. No one said taking on responsibility was easy; that isn’t the point.

The point is the growth and meaning said responsibility facilitates and confers.

Till next time,
Pat

PS Want to get that woman? Apply for coaching: www.patstedman.com/application