So as some of you know, I’m a pretty bad marketer. I produce content inconsistently, and even then focus too much on stuff that’s not exactly on brand… or isn’t geared enough towards people’s pain points to get them to buy.
It’s strange I do these stupid things, because years ago I never had that problem when it came to dating.
Indeed, back in my “playa” days, I was a HUGE marketer.
I was very, very careful about the image I was presenting to potential women… to the extent that I consciously decided how I was going to portray myself day-to-day.
How did I do it?
Social Media.
Facebook at the time; Instagram or Snapchat probably now.
I’d post very specific pictures and posts that subcommunicated different things about me.
– Travel (adventure / spontaneity)
– Jokes/Irony (funny / playful)
– Family (soft side / good paternal instincts)
– Parties (vibrant social life)
*Occasionally* I’d even post interesting articles to show a slight nerdiness. But I ALWAYS made sure any pictures that showed up on my wall were good and flattering.
Why did I do this?
Obviously, on one hand, because I was able to convey myself to people as attractive and interesting.
But in fact there was more to it than that.
I wasn’t just adding passive value for myself, *it was part of an active strategy.*
You see, whenever I met a girl I immediately asked for her full name so I could add her on facebook.
(I’d get her number too, if it was appropriate, but the facebook add 100% of the time. You could meet someone in passing and add them on facebook without weirdness; not so with a number.)
This turned facebook into a funnel. Girls I only met in passing remained on my radar. I would get more information on them to use later, they’d see my cool persona, and I’d see if we were going to the same events. The result was I could expand the connection; many times they’d even come to parties I hosted.
I can’t even tell you how many girls I dated like this.But it would have NEVER happened if I didn’t have my social media’s subcommunication on lock.
You see, the problem with most people is that they use their social media as a place to vent. This is an incredibly stupid idea as a) nobody gives a shit about your venting and b) this bullshit is magnified towards a much larger number of people.
You need to think about social media like it’s your subcommunication. When you can’t see people in the real world, it projects the image about yourself you want them to see.Venting sends the entirely wrong message.
Anyway, point is use it wisely. You don’t have to be daily posting — in fact, I think that is in most cases a bad thing. People value what you say more when it’s sparse.
But 1-3 times a week is a good rule of thumb. Enough that you’re on people’s radar, not so much you’re sending the signal you particularly care about the platform.
Try it out and let me know.
Note this strategy has become more saturated over the past 5 years, but the philosophy around it is as sound as ever.
– Pat
PS You can by my texting book, Tackling Texting — which is all about subcommunication — here: https://www.amazon.com/Tackling-Texting-Women-Natural-Dating-ebook/dp/B06XRC4C5K
FYI – I only publish old emails on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin
