One of the topics that gets the manosphere more indignant than perhaps anything else is the feminization of men.
Day in and day out, if you scroll through familiar posters, the word on the street is about the modern man being filled with “soy;” how emasculated today’s john doe is compared to the more dominant, “high T” man of the past (or the poster himself — this ain’t a humble scene)
It’s a meme, but also a real concern.
So naturally, everybody paying attention discusses what they can do to change it.
A common response?
**More male only spaces**
The theory behind this is that when women are around men, the dynamics change. Some men start “white knighting” for women and sell out other men (and male interests) to cater to them. And of course, men in general don’t feel as “safe” being aggressive and assertive, or talking shit and discussing certain topics.
It’s a different mood, and to these people, a worse one.
What do I think?
No question when women into the picture, men act differently. In some ways they may get more competitive, but even so the frame of the competition becomes completely different (they are fighting over women, who become the prize). Without the ability to shit-talk and challenge each other without sex complicating the picture — to be able to “be boys” — camaraderie and masculine ethos is lost.
But is it all bad?
I think not.
In fact, I’ve got a great word for guys who spend all their time only around other guys:
Sexually awkward.
Sure, these guys might come out these “male only spaces” with a little more masculine vibe.
Steel does sharpen steel.
But one of the big issues men have already is that they don’t know how to talk to women.
They can’t flirt for the life of them, they’re way too serious, and they don’t understand what’s on women’s minds.
And – I’m sorry – but discussing bitcoin, debating politics, and deliberating on AI might stimulate a man’s mind, but few women enjoy that – and even fewer (< 0.1%) get turned on by it.
So, while I am very POSITIVE on male only spaces and male only conversations, and I do think they are sacred and undervalued today, I am ALSO very positive on co-ed ones.
Because *I know* the more time you spend around women, the better you are at getting to read them and, ergo, seduce them.
Man needs yin and yang; exposure to the feminine, as well as cultivation of the masculine.
Learn to feel what environment your soul needs and expose yourself to it.
And if that just so happens to be a masculine one, with a focus on dating and relationships?
Join my Dynamic Men facebook group.
No women are allowed, so you can share your issues with safety, and receive respect and honesty.
It’s a place, simply put, for men who want to be better – with women and in life:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/385638151813995/
Till next time,
Pat
PS This is a grey topic, social groups inevitably become networking centers; if all the big players are there, it can present a big disadvantage to professional women to not be allowed. Ergo for various reasons, I think big organizations need to become co-ed, and keep the “male only” and “women only” spaces into “sub-clubs” in the org. The more you can balance the paradox of having both inclusion and exclusion the better!
PPS I only publish old emails like this on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin
