Recently yours truly had an article of his rejected by an esteemed magazine.
Now, no need to get our your torches and pitchforks out in my defense. They’re good people, and I’m OK.
In fact — I was expecting it to happen — even though the content was great.
You see, even though *I* like who I am, not everybody likes me.
Or perhaps better put — not everybody likes the things I say.
Why?
Because they’re true.
And most true things aren’t pleasant to hear.
Indeed, most people don’t WANT to hear them.
They want fungible, they want “popcorn knowledge.”
They want to be lied to. And the prettier the lie, the more ego affirming it is — the better.
(even if the lie is exactly what’s holding them back)
Anyway, that’s not how I roll.
(even though in the *short* term it’s probably less profitable to do so)
I have my tribe, and they value growth over propriety.Which brings us to the point.
Most of my life I kept quiet.
Kept my head down because I wanted to be liked.
Hated rocking the boat.
Avoided conflict.
The result?
Low confidence.
I had few if any enemies because I stood for nothing.
And therein lies the lesson my friends.
Your mission may not be mine.
And your *truth* may not be mine either.
(our perspectives are always limited)
But I promise you — weird as it may sound — if you’re not hated by others… you won’t truly love yourself.
Yes, there is a “learning curve.” The beginning of this will suck.
(many nights were spent in cold, anxious sweats of self-judgment)
And no, this doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to *create* enemies.It just means you should stop AVOIDING making them.
The truth is most people out there “looking out for you” don’t give a shit about you. They want to control you.
It just means you should stop AVOIDING making them.
The truth is most people out there “looking out for you” don’t give a shit about you. They want to control you.
Your thoughts, actions, dreams.
If you let them, your soul will die. Is that what you want?
Every boundary you create and enforce pisses someone off.
And every boundary you create and enforce makes you respect yourself more.Choose which one is more important to you.
Slavery is less a physical condition in our current age than a mental one.
And its one too many people voluntarily submit to.
Enjoy your weekend.
-Pat
PS This is relevant: https://www.patstedman.com/blog/2016/02/26/growth-is-painful/
PPS Work with me if you want to work on your boundaries: www.patstedman.com/application
NOTE: I only publish old emails like this on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin
