Ever wanted to talk to a girl or take things to the next level but “couldn’t” because you felt too anxious?

I know it’s happened to me too many times to count.

Anxiety is endemic in our society, and in the romantic realm it’s pretty much a given.

The more you like someone, the more worried you are that they like you back.

And the more worry -> the more anxiety.

Most people think of their anxiety as something they can’t avoid. They can meditate or do a few different exercises to tamper it down temporarily, or they can take drug to numb them, but they just need to deal with it.

But think about anxiety for a second. What is it exactly?


Anxiety is energy that’s coursing through your body… but rather than propel you FORWARD its holding you BACK.

This is obviously a problem.

But the good thing about energy is it can be channeled.


Lets say you get nervous around a girl; you have anxiety. But WHY do you have that anxiety? 

Because she (and the situation) excites you.

Usually, when we feel that excitement we tend to shut down. It’s “too much” for us to handle. We process it negatively, the energy coursing through us is uncomfortable; it’s a BAD thing.

(This is encouraged by people in Pick Up who try to claim they’re “fearless”)

But the truth is why do something if you don’t have a little excitement; a little fear?

In fact, that’s one of the BEST signs you NEED to do something. Because if it creates an emotional reaction in you, it’s something you actually care about and will move your life forward.

So instead of thinking of these situations as bad because you feel “anxiety” in them, start to think of them as good because you feel “excitement.”

Remember: The people who scare you are the most relevant, and are most likely to move your life forward and grow you as a person.Enjoy the energy. It’s a sign you’re doing something right.

– Pat

PS Even though it’s not face-to-face, one of the biggest places people get anxiety with women is in texting. Lucky for you, in my book Tackling Texting I show you exactly how to manage that so you *never* come across as too needy. 5 days until the launch… 😉 

PPS I only publish old emails like this on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin