IS VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL?
It’s that time of the year again.
Boyfriends booking fancy restaurants. Girlfriends wearing sexy underwear. Singles hitting the town and finding love for the night.
Romance. Passion. Excitement. Isn’t Valentine’s Day awesome?
I suppose, assuming you’re the type of person who enjoys waiting for Christmas.
Don’t get me wrong, Christmas is exciting. All the anticipation, unwrapping those presents you’ve had on your mind for months, and then getting surprised by that perfect gift you never expected. Magical.
But you know what sucks the most about Christmas?
It’s once a year. Once. A. Year.
And while I can handle it with Christmas because, you know, we don’t really need presents every day, when I hear the effort people are putting into Valentine’s Day one thought comes to mind:
Why are you trying so hard all of a sudden today?
Look, Valentine’s Day is a great holiday. You’re not going to find me hating on it because it’s a great opportunity to do something wonderful with your significant other or if you’re single to find someone awesome to date.
But the reality is for millions of couples, Valentine’s Day is one of the only days anybody even TRIES to add sexiness and passion to their relationships and one of the only days singles even acknowledge that their dating life isn’t going as well as they’d like.
The reason comes down to pressure.
People decide, mostly because of expectations set by marketing, that Valentine’s Day is a “special day.” And what comes with that sort of pressure? Anxiousness. Boyfriends get anxious thinking of ways to impress their girlfriends; girlfriends get anxious thinking about how to seduce their boyfriends.
Meanwhile, single people get anxious about their lack of someone special to feel anxious about, so they either suck it up for some “Valentine’s Day Singles” event they feel pathetic about going to or simply boycott the whole day.
(or so goes the stereotypes)
But you know the interesting thing about the pressure? Once the holiday passes, it’s over. Unhappy singles push their dating ambitions again to the back of their head and couples go back to showing a subdued indifference towards each other. Everybody feels relieved yet unfulfilled.
And me? I feel sad. Because all that fancy fun, sexual, passionate, romantic shit people do on Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be unusual, it should be happening throughout the year.
So if I could ask Santa Claus for one thing for that annoyingly-so-far-away Christmas, it would be that from now on everybody’s Valentine’s Day becomes nothing special.
This doesn’t mean don’t do something fun, sexual, passionate, and romantic today because “Valentine’s Day is stupid.” This means do it today, but then do tomorrow. And then the next day. And the next day. Do it the whole year. It doesn’t have to be big things, just actions taken daily to improve the quality of your relationship or dating life.
So if you’re single and want to meet somebody, don’t stop dating when you feel the pressure off. That’s the best time to do it because you’ll be the most natural.
Go out on a regular basis – not just for romantic reasons, but to meet people in general. Expand your social circle. Pick up new interests. Love yourself and show that love to others. Play. Don’t make excuses.
In time people will flock to you and options will seem to materialize out of thin air. The best and most ironic part is you won’t even feel like you need them anymore, until that special someone comes around and changes everything.
And if you’re in a relationship, find out your partner’s love language if you haven’t already and work it regularly. Surprise him with gifts and gestures, ravish her with your desire; seduce him when he’s least expecting it and remind her how important she is to you.
Don’t overemphasis her moody moments. Set aside time for each other – focused time – to build your love.
Make romance and passion the norm of your relationship. Valentine’s Day is just a day to maybe splurge a bit extra, but really, nothing about it should stand out.
Because it’s nothing special. Just another day of love.
So Happy Nothing Special Day. Speaking of love, I love you all.
PS To all you happy singles and couples, I salute you. Keep up the good example for all of us!
PPS To my fiancee who loves Valentine’s Day, don’t worry I did get you something. And yes “our” Valentine’s Day will still be special. Just like every day with you <3